House Shopping

I was going around Millersport, checking out houses that I was interested in buying. My aunt was showing different places to me, and one of them was the house I grew up in while I was in my elementary school years. We went inside and saw that it had been totally remodeled since I had lived there, with several of the walls and doorways having been moved or changed. The large furnace vent in the middle of the living room was gone now as well. I instinctively went to check out the smaller bedroom first, which was originally my bedroom, before I realized that this would be MY house now and I could have the big bedroom. While we were looking around, I kept hearing knocking at the front door. We both just seemed to ignore it though, as neither of us never went to see who it was or why they were knocking.

Squirtman on Law & Order

I was watching TV at my grandma's house, when Law and Order came on... and Squirtman was one of the actors on it. The scene started with SquirtFlirt, who had some form of mental retardation, doing some sort of skit. It continued with Squirtman ( www.squirtman.com ) in his trademark american flag jacket being interrogated by some detectives at a police station. I didn't watch much more than that, instead I went around to the friends in the house saying "I didn't know he was on Law and Order! He didn't even call me! When did this all go down?" and such.

Celebrity Women

I was sitting on the couch one evening with the girls that play "Summer" and "Marissa" on The OC. We were in some ratty house, just watching some sort of TV show or movie. I commented Summer that I liked her eye-shadow, but wondered why she was all dressed up when were just gonna hang around the house and watch TV. Marissa looked over at us and rolled her eyes, as if I said something stupid... and just then her mom came in and started bitching at us. She was yelling at me, saying that I shouldn't be hanging around with people like her daughter, and that I just needed to leave.

I did, but only to the other room, where Lisa Loeb was also sitting there watching TV. She was watching episodes of her Number One Single TV show, apparently watching herself to see what she liked and didn't like about the show. I sat down next to her as the "butt shot" part of one of the episodes was shown. We laughed about it, and I told her that she was crazy for doing that, and she replied that she was just feeling goofy at the time, and that she can't believe it herself that she did that.

Hick Town Cult

Wesley Snipes and I were travelling through some hick town one evening, on our way to somewhere else, but he noticed that a car had been following us so we pulled into a gas station. Wesley said he was worried that the car behind us might have a firearm in it, so we wanted to see if it would go past us or stop where we were.

It turns out the car following us was an unmarked police car. I got out of the car, started filling it with gas to appear as if we were just acting normally, not just stopping because we knew we were being followed. The sherrif got out of his car and came up to talk to Wesley, who was still sitting in the back seat of our car. He ordered him out.

He told Wesley to get out of the car and lay on the ground with his hands behind him. Using the words "Boy" and "Son" often, the sherrif made it clear to Wesley (and everyone within earshot) that the town didn't want black people around, even if only passing through. I was considering apologizing to Wesley for bringing him through this town, because I didn't know they acted that way, but I decided it was better to stay silent as to not irritate the sherrif.

He told us both to get back in the car, Wesley in the back and me in the front passenger seat. He got in the driver's seat, and began driving us down some dark deserted road. Obviously we were concerned, so I was trying to think of what the sherrif's plans might be for us - and how I could get us out of it. The sherrif drove with one hand on the wheel, and one hand on his gun - which was aimed at Wesley in the back seat.

We ended up on Bauman Hill Rd, outside of Lancaster, when the sherrif finally stopped the car along side the road. In the back seat there was now a three-year-old boy, who also had a gun aimed at Wesley. The sherrif got out of the car and headed towards a house, after telling us that the boy would shoot either of us if we tried to escape. As soon as he was out of view, of course we hit the small child in the head, took his gun, and fled into the woods on the other side of the road.

We worked our way about 20 yards into the thick woods, hiding behind trees and heavy growth. At this point we split up, hoping that we'd be less noticable when the sherrif started looking for us. I could see the spotlight shining from where our car was parked, but the woods provided enough shelter for us not to be spotted. I continued crawling further into the woods, where I came across more people that had taken shelter from that same sherrif. They had created their own little community in a tiny cabin deep in the woods.

Once they saw me and took me inside, I realized that I was now trapped by this little cult. They had become so afraid of people, they would not allow anyone to leave once they had entered. JT Walsh was there, and he came up to me and told me that they were out of food, and that I probably wouldn't be able to eat anything for days. After he walked away, a few of the other cult members came up to me and showed me that there was plenty of food in some trash bags in the kitchen - but JT feared that it was all tainted, so he didn't want us to eat it.

Betty Boop Time Travel

It was night, and I was travelling through this abandoned town, but instead of walking or driving my car - I was swinging through the town on a cable that was somehow attached to the sky. The city was about a mile long, and I was swinging back and forth in a zig-zag motion from left to right as I progressed through the town. I was talking to Dad via a communicator headset, and I was relaying back to him what I was seeing. There was also a camera attached to the headset, because when I swung past one certain house he remarked that I had already been there before, and that I went into that house and was beating things with a big stick. (???)

I was almost all the way through the town when I saw the ghostly figure of a woman standing near a fence at the left side of the city limits. I swung over by her and could hear that she was singing some old style song from the '30s or something. Instead of continuing forward through the town, I just kept swinging back and forth in the location where this ghost was. I was surprised when she looked up and noticed me... her head glowing and eyes fixed on me.

I lowered myself and swung closer to her so I could get a better look, to see if it really was a ghost. That's when I noticed her head was quite a bit bigger than it should be, and that she looked like the Betty Boop cartoon character. I thought it might be someone with a mask on, playing a joke - but I swooped in and grabbed the hair of this person, and when I tugged I could tell that it was real hair on a real head. She didn't get mad, but she just kept watching me swinging back and forth, as she glowed and faded in and out in the darkness.

I figured I should try to capture her and take her back (to wherever I was going) so on one of my swoops I grabbed around her, trying to pick her up. At this point everything around me changed. It was if I had travelled to another time, but in the same location. I fell from my cable and landed on the ground next to her. At this point she vanished, but I was still in this new time. I thought that I might have been sent back to the 1930s, but when I looked at a newspaper on the ground, the date said it was the year 2170. This didn't make sense to me, because when I looked around, there were no signs of technology or any other futuristic things. The year 2170 could have easily been mistaken for the early 1900s.

I then jumped back into my current time, and told Dad about what I had experienced, and he documented all of the things that I had seen in the future.

Atlantic City

I was in Atlantic City in the evening, walking north on the boardwalk with mom and her friend, who looked a lot like Nancy Grace. Me and mom stopped in at one of the arcades, and while she went straight to the back to get some quarters, I strolled slowly down the aisles looking at the classic arcade games that they had. Nobody was playing, and most of the machines had the sound off - so there wasn't that familiar arcade ambience that you'd expect to hear. I remarked about this to mom, but she wasn't paying attention to me, instead intently collecting her quarters from the change machine.

I looked down at the carpeted floor and noticed a quarter was laying there. I then heard the sound of a quarter fall into one of the coin return slots of a nearby game. I snatched them both up, along with some other random coins on the floor. At this point, the girl behind the prize counter noticed me and said "Here." I looked at her with a bit of confusion, as she stuck out her hand and again said "Here." as if I was supposed to give her those coins. I said "Yeah, right!" to which she replied "If you don't give those to me you will be banned from this arcade and will never be allowed to come in again." I laughed, told her that I didn't care (nobody was in there anyway... her loss) and then we left.

Continuing up the boardwalk we past several of the familiar stores. I stopped at one of the clothes shops for a minute, since they had Nascar baseball jersies on sale. They were 3/$18, or $9 each. They had Tony Stewart, Dale Earnhardt, Kevin Harvick, and Jamie McMurray shirts. I happened to be wearing the same Dale Earnhardt shirt that they were selling, so I didn't buy another.

We got to the more vacant part of the boardwalk before Resorts, and mom and Nancy began almost running. I thought this was weird, because normally I'd be the one that was walking too fast. I motioned to mom to let Nancy know we were going too fast, but she just shrugged her shoulders as if she couldn't do anything about it.

I couldn't keep up, and at this point I was now in my old Oldsmobile with Genesee. We had pulled up in front of this old beat up looking house in the country. Apparently we were waiting for someone to come home, so we parked sideways in the road directly in front of their driveway. This wasn't good though, because soon we saw the headlights of a car coming towards us in each direction down the road. I was hurrying to try to move the car out of the road, but I couldn't find my keys. We rocked the car back and forth enough that the car coming from our right went by in front of us, and luckily the car coming from our right turned off on a side road.

Now that we weren't worried about getting hit, I found the keys, started the car and peeled out of the road and into the driveway. We noticed that in one of the junk cars we could see poofy hair in the front seat. We figured it must be Toni and Anna, there babysitting the kids of the people we were looking for. A minute after that Wendi walked by, noticed us, and stopped and said hi. She had hur current head, but her little body like when she was 10 or something.

My Nekkid Webchick Neighbor

Me, James, and Larry were walking along some railroad tracks that went through town, on our way back home from somewhere. As we were getting close to our backyard, a train started to approach. We all got off the tracks so the train could pass, but as it did - the engine released the cars that it was pulling. Larry seemed annoyed by this, so he went back up on the tracks, pushed against the free-rolling train cars, and sent them rolling in the other direction.

Larry and Jeff were now inexplicably gone, so I continued through that backyard and headed inside my house.

I went inside to find the neighbor girl sitting on my futon, watching TV, apparently just waiting for me to get home. She wasn't wearing anything too terribly sexy, but she was still cute. I felt like I recognized her from somewhere, but I couldn't put my finger on it. She asked me if I would take a few pictures of her to put on her website, so I grabbed my camera and took a few random shots. She left shortly after that, but invited me to come next door for dinner with her parents later that night.

When I went over to her house, I could see that they had cooked up a special dinner. I wasn't sure what the occassion was, but I made myself at home after greeting her parents. We all sat down at the table as the neighbor girl (whom I knew now as Lindsey) began to serve the food. It was much like a Thanksgiving dinner... sweet potatoes, rolls, stuffing, etc... but the main course that she was serving was gravy-filled loaves of bread. Her parents didn't seem surprised by this at all, so I played along and had some.

As we were eating our gravy bread, I suddenly realized where I had recognized her from. She was a model at an adult web site. I had seen her pictures before in various places, but it wasn't until now that I recognized her. I exclaimed "Ahh! You're Lindsey from RealPeachez.com!" Her eyes got big, surprised that I had recognized her... and ratted her out in front of her parents. She snapped back with "Don't call me that! My name is Ruth!" I just assumed that she was hiding what she did from her parents, so again I played along.

Dinner continued and she tried to serve us several more loaves of gravy bread, but I had my fill and was trying to find an excuse to leave. Finally we all got up from the table, and I made my way towards their front door. In the living room, on my way out, I noticed that several professional photographers were setting up expensive equipment and lights. It was then that I realized that her parents help her run her website out of their living room, and that she had invited me over so that she could try to have a normal life - in contrast to her online Lindsey persona. I felt a bit silly, having used my relatively cheap digital camera to shoot some normal candid photos of her earlier, considering that she was obviously used to much more professional equipment.

(You can visit the actual RealPeachez web site by clicking here. Obviously, adult content ahead... heh)

Weirdness With The Girls I Know

This dream started out with me, Misty, and my cousin Jim - all camping in a field near a big forest. It was night, and Jim and I thought it would be funny to scare Misty by making her think that something came out of the woods and took me away. We all grabbed our flashlights and headed towards the edge of the woods, flashlights in hand... when Jim made a noise to distract Misty. When she looked in his direction, I dove into the weeds and bushes that were along the edge of the woods. I shut off my flashlight and lay there quietly, waiting to hear if she got scared. Well, shortly after that - I saw something dart out of the woods, snatch Misty up, and pull her down into the ground. Jim and I ran away.

The dream then changed to where I was still walking through the woods at night, but this time I was following Tabatha to her house, where she was having a big bonfire. I was walking her home from work, which I could tell because we had our uniforms on, and when we got to the top of the hill near her property line I saw some guy standing there. I asked if it was okay if I walked up to the house with her, or if her husband would get mad, and she said it should be okay. I walked along with her, and when I went past this guy standing there Tabatha didn't say anything. I assumed it was her husband, but when I tried to introduce myself to him - the guy just walked away, saying his name was Jimmy. We never did see her husband, and the night continued with a bunch of us sitting around a big bonfire joking and laughing. This part of the dream ended when a bunch of Africans came up to me and started bugging me, asking me if I had change for a $20.

I then woke up (in my dream) in the living room of Jim's old house on Hubert Ave, in the middle of the night, to the sound of people knocking on my door. It turns out that it was Pam, one of my good friends from high school. I guess she had moved to Lancaster a few months before that, and she wanted to stop by and catch up. It was probably 3am, but she came inside and we sat down in the dark living room to talk about stuff... but I kept nodding off, because I was so tired. I was trying to tell her about a crazy dream I had just had about her, but I only got about half-way through before I started throwing up pumpkin guts and falling asleep. (Gross, I know)

But I woke up a few minutes later, continued telling her about my dream... which, oddly enough, was the dream I actually had about Misty, which I mentioned earlier in this entry. She told me how her and her husband had gotten a divorce, and that's why she moved back to Ohio from Florida. We both fell asleep in the living room there, but we were awakened shortly after by a PIG walking into the room and sniffing at my ear. I jumped up, and Pam woke up and started shouting at the pig... she said its name was Fred. How she knew, I have no idea.

Living Dead Game

I was living in my old house in Millersport, when two of my old friends stopped by to see me. First Ami and her husband stopped by, but I was asleep - so they just knocked on the door and then left when I didn't answer. Pam stopped by later, when it was getting dark, and we decided to take a walk up through the park and towards the school.

It was dark now, and we were concerned that someone would catch us on school property when we weren't supposed to be, so we were sneaking through the woods that surrounded the school property. I heard voices in the distance, so I told her to lay down on the ground so that we could blend in until the people went by. Well, within a few minutes we saw several dozen people staggering around, making noise, heading in the direction of the school. I motioned to Pam to get up so we could continue, to see what was going on, but she had fallen asleep on the ground.

She woke up and continued towards the school with me, but we were immediately spotted by a bunch of the staggering people... people that we realized were dead zombies, roaming the land around the school. We figured the best way to avoid being attacked was to pretend that we were zombies too, and it worked. We staggered along with the rest of the dead people until we reached the rear of the school where there was a giant dragon, made of ceramic material.

The dragon reared back and was going to attack a bunch of us walking nearby, so my reaction was to defend me and Pam - so I took out a sword and attacked the dragon, causing the body to smash into pieces and the giant head to fall to the ground. I felt like I was in a videogame at this point, so I tried to think what a game character would do next. Normally when you beat a "boss" character, you are rewarded with a coin or a key... so I smashed the head open by slamming it on the ground again, and inside I found a key that would allow Pam and I to escape into the school, away from the zombies.

In the meantime, the zombies had noticed when I attacked and killed the dragon - so they realized that me and Pam weren't one of them. Three zombies immediately attacked me, one of them pushing me to the ground and another one of them trying to bite and infect me - but Pam saved me at the last moment by stabbing them in the spine, killing them. Then, for reasons that we never figured out, Pam discovered that she could turn all the zombies back into humans by kissing them. So, she went around carefully kissing all the zombies without being bit - saving the day and turning most everyone back to normal.

Crazy Larry

I was driving my car, on my way to work, when I felt all four tires go flat. I pulled over and got out my little mini-go-kart and started to continue the drive to my job. When I went into a little valley beneath a highway overpass, the cement was freshly poured - and my little go-kart quickly sank and got stuck. I hopped out and began walking, when I noticed Larry walking on the other side of the road in the same direction.

I told Larry how I was having car troubles and I was late for work, so he offered me a ride in his tractor trailer. When I got into the back of the trailer, I saw that he had kidnapped a man and a girl, and was forcing them to go to work with us. The man was all screaming and crazy, but the girl didn't seem quite as upset. Larry then shot the man, sending him falling out of the back of the moving trailer - and the girl and I began singing "The Rodeo Song" in order to appear "at ease" with Larry, in hopes that he didn't shoot us as well. It was strange though, because the girl was singing the song, but all the lyrics were wrong.

Buckeye Lake Corpses

I was out on my pontoon boat, on Buckeye Lake, when I saw two giant tour boats heading towards each other. These boats were full of tourists, mostly old people. When one of the boats entered the wake of the other, it went up into the air and flipped over - tossing all of the old people into the water. Instead of swimming, all of the old people instantly died, as if they had fallen into a vat of poison or acid or something.

I drove my boat to the docks at Leibs Island and got out to tell everyone what I had seen. As I was doing that, I noticed that a Buckeye Lake Ranger was following me in her own boat - pulling all of the dead people in the water towards the shore. I started yelling at her, telling her that she was going to be bringing disease to everyone that was there. She kept insisting that she needed to pull the corpses in, so they could be burned and disposed of properly. In order to get away from the diseased corpses, I got back in my boat and headed back towards the middle of the lake - while the ranger arranged all the bodies in a pile near a shallow section of the shore and began to set them all on fire.

Wendi Lost Her Jacket

I was sitting near the edge of a lake, taking photographs, when I saw my cousin Wendi and one of her friends standing on the docks near the small marina. They were looking in the water, talking to some official looking person that was standing next to them. It seems that Wendi had dropped her jacket into the lake, and she was convincing them that they needed to drain the lake so that she could get it.

Before they did, I snuck over to that area and walked out on one of the boat docks. The path was wide as it went out over the water, until I reached an area that was only about 6" wide. I hopped down onto this beam that was going over the water, and I then realized that I was too scared to turn around and get back on the regular dock - so I'd have to try to run along this beam, back to the shore. I took several steps and was doing okay, then the beam connected to a big log... and when I stepped on the log, it began to roll in the water. I kept going and luckily made it to shore without falling in.

A friend of mine from high school was watching as I did this, and he made some sort of comment about it - and then he told me to look at his bumper on his truck. I was still shocked that I made it all the way without falling into the water, but he didn't want to hear about that. He told me again to look at his bumper, which had fallen off and left only the attaching bolts. I pulled that part the rest of the way off and remarked how it looked like one of those Ab-Flex exercise devices.

I walked back along the shore to where I was taking pictures before and watched them drain the lake. Slowly the water level dropped, and even when the bottom of the lake was visible near the docks where Wendi was, there was no sign of her jacket. The officials were getting mad and then ended up calling her dad. Rick arrived and seemed mad as he walked by me, towards Wendi. Vicki was there as well, and she was just milling around by the shore - getting in the way while I was trying to take pictures of Wendi searching for her jacket.

Napoleon, Erica, Amanda, Tabatha, Stevie, Kelly, Flying...

It was nighttime and I was in the parking lot of Media Play in Columbus, although it was still the Children's Palace store that it was many years ago. I came out of the store and walked past a payphone... stuck my finger in the change slot and found a quarter. At another payphone just a few steps from me was the guy that played Napoleon Dynamite. As I walked towards him he got off the phone and walked to his car. Just to see, I stuck my finger in the change slot of that phone too and found $1.50 in quarters. I yelled to him that I found a bunch of quarters, and he replied "Lucky!"

Just then Stevie came walking out of the store and towards my direction. I told him how I just found a bunch of quarters in the phone, and that there was a baggie sitting next to it full of pennies and nickels, and that he should take it. He freaked out and started running away from me, saying that I was only trying to get him in trouble and that he wasn't going to take it. I grabbed the bag, since he didn't, and I noticed that it also had some tobacco in it - and it was water damaged from sitting in the rain for a while.

I took the bag with me to the parking lot and headed to my car. Amanda was sitting in the car waiting for me, and she saw that I was carrying a bag so she asked me what was in it. As I was explaining to her, I threw the bag away and hit Erica McLaughlin's car. (A girl I went to high school with many moons ago.) Erica and Tabatha picked up the bag, and in the process of fishing out the coins - they started grabbing clumps of the wet tobacco and threw them at us in my car. We were stuck in the parking lot, as there was a lot of traffic waiting to get out of the place, so the clumps kepts hitting me, hitting the car, making a mess of the area. Amanda was mad and wanted to get out and confront the other girls, but I just told her to stay in the car as I jumped all the way in and shut and locked our doors. Tabatha then went driving by in front of my car, shouting something at us. A space in the traffic finally opened up, so we were able to squeeze out and head home.

Once back at the house, it was getting light and Kelly was waiting there for a ride home. He didn't really say or do anything, other than patiently waiting and following me around. In order to get him home, I hopped on this tiny little wooden chair - about the size of my fist - and started to fly. I was still inside the house, and I was still learning how to make the chair fly properly - because every time I would start to get a little too high, the chair would become unstable and I'd have to jump off and land on the ground again. Mom and Genesee were getting annoyed that I couldn't seem to get it right, so I explained to them that I had never flown a chair that small - and that it was hard for me to get a handle on the controls when they were so tony. Eventually we made it out of the house and headed slowly down some back country road.

Accidental Break-In

Amanda and I were shopping in Columbus in the evening, and we decided to stop by the Final Markdown. The parking lot was empty, but all of the lights were on in the store, so we got out of the car and headed towards the doors. The store was lit as if it were open, but we couldn't see anyone inside. Amanda decided that we should go in anyway, so I unlocked the door with my key and we headed inside. About 15 seconds after we went in, we heard an alarm go off. I asked Amanda why she didn't disable the alarm system, and she told me that she didn't remember the code.

We quickly headed back out the door, because I told her Armond would be coming soon to find out why the alarm on his store was going off. She ran out to the car, I walked at a normal pace behind her - but when we noticed that nobody was coming, we turned around and walked back into the store. The alarm was no longer going off, so we thought things might be okay now.

Once we were inside, we noticed that several other people had come in and were starting to steal things. We tried to tell them that the alarm was just going off, and that people would be coming to check on the store soon, but nobody wanted to listen. Before we could convince those people to get out, the police arrived. We all ran towards the back of the store and into one of the storage rooms. We could see the police going up and down the aisles, looking for intruders, and we realized that we were trapped in the back room with nowhere to hide.

Just as the police started catching some of the other people, Amanda and I noticed a big piece of plywood that was propped up against one of the back walls. There was just enough room for us to hide behind it, so we jumped over a railing and ducked behind the plywood until the police had rounded up the rest of the people and left.

Crushing Elevator

I was staying at a hotel in an Atlantic City casino, and I had to take one of the elevators to get from my room - down to the casino floor. Once I got in, the elevator started going down - but as it did, the ceiling started to come down towards the floor even faster. The elevator was slowly going to crush me, and my only hope was that I would reach the bottom floor before the ceiling reached the floor.

As I was passing the 4th, 3rd, 2nd floors... I saw a chance to roll out of the current elevator and into one that was travelling beside mine. I rolled out and the compartment I was just in sealed up, but this elevator was doing the same thing. Luckily, as the ceiling had me pressed against the floor, the elevator arrived at my floor and the doors opened up to let me out.

There was a woman standing there, looking at me laying on the ground, and she helped me up. She took me over towards the casino security office to file a report about what happened. As I was waiting for the security guard to take my statement, a cleaning lady that worked for that same casino started laughing at me and telling me that I was full of it, and that none of what I said even happened. I started yelling back at her and threatening to chase her down and kill her if she didn't shut up, because I had video to prove what happened.

Mom and Dad were playing slots right next to the security office, so they both heard what happened - but they didn't seem interested, almost as if they were embarassed by the situation and didn't want anyone to realize that they knew who I was. The woman (who now is recognizable... it was Amanda from work...) and I then left the security office and headed towards the area of the casino where the "grabby games" are. I looked through a few of them, and played a couple times - trying to use the claw to grab a stuffed animal for Amanda, but I was never sucessful. We had to leave empty handed.

Ryan Newman Visits

I was in the middle of spring cleaning at my house when Ryan Newman came over for a visit. This was the first time I had met him, so I was a little nervous. He got to the house and we went out back to try out the new go-kart track that I had built. I told him that he could take the lead and I'd follow him around the track so I could find out what the best racing line was.

As soon as we started our first lap, I could tell he wasn't willing to help me learn. He went out and started racing all crazy, doing donuts, running into other cars and into the walls... so we just put in a few laps and then quit.

I headed back inside and started cleaning up the extra room where my computer and XBOX system was, and Ryan sat in the living room watching TV with Genesee. While I was cleaning, I was also taking breaks to get online and check my mail and stuff - and before I knew it, several hours had passed. I remembered that Ryan was waiting in the living room for me to finish up my cleaning so we could play some XBOX, but when I went out to check on him he was gone.

My cousin Jim was there instead. He said that Ryan left a while ago, because he thought I had fallen asleep in my chair. Jim then gave me a bunch of stuff that he found while he was at work, including an alarm clock and a laptop computer.

Crazy Bus Ride

Amanda and I were working nightshift in a casino somewhere, and it was time for us to clock out and go home. We made our way to an exit, but we kept trying to scan our badges and were having no success. I swiped mine a few times in a reader on one side of the wall, she did the same on the other side. She started pressing buttons on the intercom, trying to get security to let us out - just as someone came out of a side room to show us an alternative.

The guy showed us that if we stuck our badges in this older looking card reader, it would clock us out and let us out of the building. I ran my badge through the machine, and it spit out a paper receipt with handwritten entries showing my name, badge number, the time I clocked out, along with a couple other things. Amanda did the same and we headed on our way.

As soon as we got outside we hopped in a taxi that was waiting there. I got in the driver's seat, she got in the back. As we started to take off, I realized that the roads were icy and the drop-off area where we were was covered was very constricted. I slowly pulled out of the taxi queue and turned to head down the hill past the bus stop pickup area. As I went down the hill I pushed the brake pedal to the floor, but the taxi still kept sliding down the hill past some people and towards the busses. The road was narrow so there was no way for me to avoid hitting the bus if we didn't stop.

When we reached the bottom of the hill, we were now suddenly on the bus that we were going to hit with the taxi. Instead of Amanda, it was now Gloria that was with me. The bus was parked, and we heard a voice saying that it was the bus driver's 25th anniversay with the company, and that if anyone wanted to shake her hand they should come outside now. Everyone left the bus except for me and Gloria... so I ran up front and took over, pulling away from the bus stop.

We travelled until it was getting light, then we stopped off at a rest area. There was an older "mom & pop" type truck stop there that sold a variety of things, including NES games which were advertised on their display as "3 for $7.00" We got back on the bus and continued down the road... and without explanation it was nighttime again.

I attempted to take an exit off of the freeway, but the bus was going too fast. We started onto the ramp but realized that the brakes weren't slowing the bus enough to make the curve - so I turned the wheel left and made the bus jump off the road and down towards the interstate that we were wanting to merge onto. (Picture the I-270 S -to- I-70 E exit on the east side of Columbus) The bus banged the ground as it jumped off the road, quickly crossed the other road, and headed towards an embankment on the other side. When we hit it, the bus went up in the air but landed relatively gently a few hundred feet later. We were driving off the side of the road, but the bus was still travelling way too fast. We hit another hill on the side of the road, sending the bus flipping and flying through the air again. We landed on the wheels without damage and ended up coming to a rest outside of a videogame convention.

We got out of the bus to make sure we didn't hurt anyone and to explore what was going on. (It was Amanda that was with me again. *shrug*) We saw Carl when we got out of the bus, and realized it was some sort of Star Wars / XBOX convention, and there were rows and rows of people standing around at game machines. As we walked past them, I remarked to Carl that they must be using XBOX 360 technology - because everyone we walked past actually had the face of someone that I knew. It seemed that something scanned my PC, downloaded all of my personal pictures, and then displayed the faces from those pictures onto the people that were playing the game machines. We walked around for a while, looking at people and trying to figure out what picture their face came from.

Big Wheel

I had just purchased a new adult sized big-wheel and was out in the road in front of the house, getting ready to take it for a test drive. For some reason, it wasn't ridden like a big-wheel most of us had when we were kids. You had to actually lay on your stomach on the big-wheel to operate it, pedalling the thing with your hands. So, I was on the thing, resting my head on the handlebars to steer... and I headed down the road.

I went a couple of blocks and then turned around to go back to the house. As I drove up onto the sidewalk, I saw our neighbor and two of her kids walking down the sidewalk towards me. They looked and kinda smiled, probably amused by the sight of an old guy like me riding a big wheel... especially since I was on my belly and steering with my face. After I went past, they yelled to me that they were disappointed that I never updated my webcam page anymore. I didn't realize that they knew about that page, so I told them that I would turn it on as soon as I got back home.

So I went back into the house and went up into my attic, where I had an elaborate webcam and computer system set up. I grabbed my phone and called the neighbors to let them know that everything was turned back on again. I also told them that sometimes I aim my cam out the windows and it catches some of their yard in the field of view, and all they had to do was let me know if they ever wanted me to turn it in another direction. As I was talking to them, I heard a knock on the door.

The neighbor girl on the phone said "did you hear that?" because she could see the person knocking on our front door from her window. I looked out the window and saw that it was a Brinks security van. I went downstairs and let the guy in. Dad had called him for some reason, and he was there to inspect the house for potential fire hazards.

Dead Junkies

My cousin and I were working as police officers, and we were supposed to be patrolling an old mall at night. Much of the mall was abandoned, with only a few stores still left. We entered the mall and saw lots of trash, empty stores, empty boxes... a general mess. As we were walking, we saw an old man walking out of of one of the rooms at the far end of the mall. He saw us and ran back into the store he came from, so we chased after him.

We chased him into a store at the far end of the mall, where we discovered that him and a friend were camping out and smoking crack. I grabbed one of the old guys by the shoulder and he turned around and aimed a gun at my head. I just grabbed the gun and wrestled it away from him. I told him that I didn't care if he wanted to shoot at me - it wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. He gave up after that and let my cousin lead him away. The second guy wasn't as cooperative. He saw his friend being handcuffed and taken away, so he decided to turn his gun on himself - and he shot himself in the head.

The detective that came to clean up the scene made it look as good as new, and behind the register on the floor he left a personal check for $150 to make up for the missing money that the old guys had stolen before we had gotten there.

Lancaster NASCAR Race

I showed up at the Fairfield County Fairgrounds to participate in a late night NASCAR Nextel cup race. I hadn't driven in the series before, so I was nervous about getting out on the track and at least staying out of everyone's way. I arrived late, so cars were already practicing on the track before I had even gotten in my car. When I did, I noticed that Bobby Labonte was sitting in the back seat. He was already suited up and had his helmet on, so I just put on my helmet and my little radio headset for communications. I keyed the mic and asked if Bobby could hear me, but my crew chief said that he couldn't. Apparently he wasn't there to help me really... he was just along for the ride.

We made our way onto the track, but I went out going the wrong direction. Bobby seemed to have at least partial control of the car, because I told him that I made a mistake and that maybe he should turn the car around so we could head the other direction and get some practice laps in before the race.

The next thing I know, the cars are gone and the stands are empty. I'm no longer in my car, but instead I'm walking around the empty track, picking up trash. It was dark, since it was the middle of the night, so it was a little bit creepy. There were a few other people working in the area, and I was watching them to see if they were watching me. It turns out that I wasn't really working for the cleanup crew, and that I was just picking up trash because I was trying to find good stuff that people lost earlier in the night.

In turn three I started finding the good stuff. People had left lots of CDs laying around on the ground and in the stands. I found a Billy Joel boxed set, a few Genesis CDs, as well as a Huey Lewis and The News collectors set. I gathered them up quickly, and acted as if I was going to turn them in to someone - just in case anyone was watching me - but I knew that I was really going to take my new-found booty home with me.