I was shopping in some sort of arts and crafts store, where they would let you try out the items before you bought them. I was actually painting a picture frame, and adding some gold flakes to it when I heard some people laughing at me from up towards the cash register. Apparently the store was closing and I wasn't going to be able to complete my picture frame in time, and they thought this was funny. I went to the cash register in order to pay and leave, and noticed that it was Dan (a guy from work) and one of his friends that were laughing.
I looked at the bag of items that they had just purchased, and it was full of candy bars - some wrapped, some opened. I made some sort of comment about how a fatty like him didn't need to be buying any more candy, which sufficiently hurt his feelings, and then I left. He wasn't laughing any more.
(fwiw, Dan isn't really a fatty... but he does have a bigger gut than me.)
Monday, May 31, 2004
Monday, May 24, 2004
Eating The Cat Head
My wife and I were eating our cat's head. Bizarre... I know. But anyway, Kitty was not in pain - and we weren't actually hurting him. At least, I wasn't hurting him. I was only eating pieces of skin from the top of his head, while Genesee insisted on digging in and really getting some big chunks of meat. I kept telling her just to eat little bits, so it didn't hurt him - but she kept digging away. Why were we eating our cat? I have no idea.
Tour Bus Plane Crash
It was early evening, and I was the driver of a tour bus that was on it's way home from a gambling trip at Atlantic City. I was driving along the freeway, but apparently took a wrong exit - because I ended up driving along regular city streets. Before I could find a place to get back onto the freeway, I had driven into the "ghetto" part of town. The roads were narrow, there was no place for me to stop or turn around, and there were many "undesirable" folks wandering the streets, looking for trouble. I didn't want to stop the bus and take a chance that someone would try to rob my passengers, so I kept making turns until I ended up driving down a road full of apartment buildings.
By now it was the middle of the night, and almost everyone was sleeping, so I felt safe in stopping the bus and asking for directions. I knocked on the apartment door of an older lady, and she told me that I just needed to go a few streets over and I'd find an exit that led to the freeway. But for whatever reason, I didn't go directly back to the bus and onto the freeway... instead, I went inside the apartment and was looking out the window at the planes that would fly over. The apartment that I was in was located directly at the end of an airport runway, and so when the planes would take off and land they would nearly hit the building they were so low.
As I was watching a small bi-plane take off, I noticed that it was even lower than the other planes, and that the engine didn't sound right. I grabbed my digital camera and headed for the door, because I knew it was going to crash. As I went outside, where it was dark and snowy, I could see an orange glow coming from a few hundred yards away. Me and a few other folks went to investigate and found that the plane had crashed into a building that was housing a show car, Tony Stewart's Home Depot #20 NASCAR Chevy to be exact. The plane had crashed through the top of the roof, directly down onto Tony's car, smashing it almost flat. As onlookers started to gather, I was the only one with a camera, so I took as many pictures as I could.
By now it was the middle of the night, and almost everyone was sleeping, so I felt safe in stopping the bus and asking for directions. I knocked on the apartment door of an older lady, and she told me that I just needed to go a few streets over and I'd find an exit that led to the freeway. But for whatever reason, I didn't go directly back to the bus and onto the freeway... instead, I went inside the apartment and was looking out the window at the planes that would fly over. The apartment that I was in was located directly at the end of an airport runway, and so when the planes would take off and land they would nearly hit the building they were so low.
As I was watching a small bi-plane take off, I noticed that it was even lower than the other planes, and that the engine didn't sound right. I grabbed my digital camera and headed for the door, because I knew it was going to crash. As I went outside, where it was dark and snowy, I could see an orange glow coming from a few hundred yards away. Me and a few other folks went to investigate and found that the plane had crashed into a building that was housing a show car, Tony Stewart's Home Depot #20 NASCAR Chevy to be exact. The plane had crashed through the top of the roof, directly down onto Tony's car, smashing it almost flat. As onlookers started to gather, I was the only one with a camera, so I took as many pictures as I could.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Abandoned Tower
Some friends and I came across a giant abandoned apartment building, so we decided to explore it. We found that we couldn't get in through the normal doors or windows, so we had to have a crane lift us up to the very top floor so that we could sneak in through one of the open windows up there. We got in and found the place to be a complete mess... furniture and personal belongs thrown everywhere, and everything was covered in a thick chemical dust - apparently to kill whatever virus or germs that had made the building unusable.
Being an abandoned building, I started going through some of the stuff in one of the rooms - seeing if there was anything there that I wanted to take. My friend that was with me told me that maybe I shouldn't do that, since it looked like they were trying to clean the building of any germs, and that maybe they'd be coming back in eventually. From both the outside and the inside, it looked as if the building was only days away from being demolished, but we decided to wipe our fingerprints off of all of the things we had touched and then we left.
Being an abandoned building, I started going through some of the stuff in one of the rooms - seeing if there was anything there that I wanted to take. My friend that was with me told me that maybe I shouldn't do that, since it looked like they were trying to clean the building of any germs, and that maybe they'd be coming back in eventually. From both the outside and the inside, it looked as if the building was only days away from being demolished, but we decided to wipe our fingerprints off of all of the things we had touched and then we left.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Creature Pool Bookstore
I was shopping (again) in this small bookstore, which was almost more like a library than a store. People were milling about, looking through books and magazines, but I found a doorway that went to the back room of the bookstore - and went through. Directly behind this door was a hallway, with another set of doors which led to another back room. When I went through that door, I discovered a large dark room with a very big swimming pool inside. The room was dark, other than being lit from the dim blue light coming from the water.
I noticed right away that this pool wasn't meant for swimming in... it had lots of creatures in it. They weren't normal fish or sharks or whatever, but more like prehistoric type eels and jellyfish. There was a woman standing near the edge of the pool that explained to me how her sister was always very annoyed when she'd come over to swim, because the giant squids would always try to grab her. As an example, she threw a small (regular) fish into the water, and the giant eels and squid quickly attacked and ate it.
I was getting ready to head back out the door and into the bookstore again, when that same lady stopped me and showed me a 3-d hologram flip-book greeting card that her father had sent he from somewhere far away. It was almost like a video greeting, when she made the flip book go it was lit up, and it had sound. After I watched that, I went back into the bookstore. A man saw me come out of the back doors there, and he tried to go back where I was. I felt that this giant pool was supposed to remain a secret, so I did my best to prevent him from getting back there. Once he was in the first back hallway, I was able to stop him and send him back out into the store.
I noticed right away that this pool wasn't meant for swimming in... it had lots of creatures in it. They weren't normal fish or sharks or whatever, but more like prehistoric type eels and jellyfish. There was a woman standing near the edge of the pool that explained to me how her sister was always very annoyed when she'd come over to swim, because the giant squids would always try to grab her. As an example, she threw a small (regular) fish into the water, and the giant eels and squid quickly attacked and ate it.
I was getting ready to head back out the door and into the bookstore again, when that same lady stopped me and showed me a 3-d hologram flip-book greeting card that her father had sent he from somewhere far away. It was almost like a video greeting, when she made the flip book go it was lit up, and it had sound. After I watched that, I went back into the bookstore. A man saw me come out of the back doors there, and he tried to go back where I was. I felt that this giant pool was supposed to remain a secret, so I did my best to prevent him from getting back there. Once he was in the first back hallway, I was able to stop him and send him back out into the store.
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Jim's Creepy Apartment
My friend Jim and I were shopping in a small town somewhere, along their main downtown road. We went in to a store where you could rent a person for an hour, and that person had to make you whatever candy you wanted. The place was full when we went in, but we read the catalog that showed you could have any kind of candy from chocolate covered peanuts to deep fried fig newtons. The rental rate started at $120 an hour, but I suppose if you were making candy that whole time it'd be worth it. *shrug*
We left the candy rental place and went out to the SUV, where I saw a woman getting in the back seat and leaving something behind. I didn't look to see what it was yet, then me and Jim headed back to downtown Columbus to his apartment. When we got there, I looked in the back seat and found that this woman had left behind a big wad of cash - which I quickly snatched up and took for myself. It was night now, and Jim's apartment building was in an old abandoned section of the city - a big brick building, about 14 stories tall. He parked a distance away from the building, so as we walked up to it we were approached by homeless people and other creepy folks. One of them wanted my Cleveland Browns blanket that I was carrying, but luckily none of them noticed the big stack of cash that I also had in my hands.
We made it inside the old building, and made our way to one of the upper floors where his apartment was located. Inside there was barely enough room for two people to be able to walk around, but his mom and grandma were both there. Actually, it seemed that it might be their apartment and Jim was just living there. We made our way into the kitchen... the floor was rotting and the refrigerator was nearly falling through. His mom and grandma were fighting about something, but at the same time offering us something to eat. The place was disgusting and smelled like old people, so we declined and made our way out as quickly as possible.
As I left, I was suddenly outside of my real house, and Misty was pulling up out front to pick me up for work. She came up to the door and knocked, not realizing I'd already come outside and was coming around the side of the house. When she saw me she pointed out that my car had a dent in it. I looked, and sure enough, someone had smashed into the right rear of my car - knocking the wheel off the hub and smashing the crap out of my car.
We left the candy rental place and went out to the SUV, where I saw a woman getting in the back seat and leaving something behind. I didn't look to see what it was yet, then me and Jim headed back to downtown Columbus to his apartment. When we got there, I looked in the back seat and found that this woman had left behind a big wad of cash - which I quickly snatched up and took for myself. It was night now, and Jim's apartment building was in an old abandoned section of the city - a big brick building, about 14 stories tall. He parked a distance away from the building, so as we walked up to it we were approached by homeless people and other creepy folks. One of them wanted my Cleveland Browns blanket that I was carrying, but luckily none of them noticed the big stack of cash that I also had in my hands.
We made it inside the old building, and made our way to one of the upper floors where his apartment was located. Inside there was barely enough room for two people to be able to walk around, but his mom and grandma were both there. Actually, it seemed that it might be their apartment and Jim was just living there. We made our way into the kitchen... the floor was rotting and the refrigerator was nearly falling through. His mom and grandma were fighting about something, but at the same time offering us something to eat. The place was disgusting and smelled like old people, so we declined and made our way out as quickly as possible.
As I left, I was suddenly outside of my real house, and Misty was pulling up out front to pick me up for work. She came up to the door and knocked, not realizing I'd already come outside and was coming around the side of the house. When she saw me she pointed out that my car had a dent in it. I looked, and sure enough, someone had smashed into the right rear of my car - knocking the wheel off the hub and smashing the crap out of my car.
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