Me, James, and Larry were walking along some railroad tracks that went through town, on our way back home from somewhere. As we were getting close to our backyard, a train started to approach. We all got off the tracks so the train could pass, but as it did - the engine released the cars that it was pulling. Larry seemed annoyed by this, so he went back up on the tracks, pushed against the free-rolling train cars, and sent them rolling in the other direction.
Larry and Jeff were now inexplicably gone, so I continued through that backyard and headed inside my house.
I went inside to find the neighbor girl sitting on my futon, watching TV, apparently just waiting for me to get home. She wasn't wearing anything too terribly sexy, but she was still cute. I felt like I recognized her from somewhere, but I couldn't put my finger on it. She asked me if I would take a few pictures of her to put on her website, so I grabbed my camera and took a few random shots. She left shortly after that, but invited me to come next door for dinner with her parents later that night.
When I went over to her house, I could see that they had cooked up a special dinner. I wasn't sure what the occassion was, but I made myself at home after greeting her parents. We all sat down at the table as the neighbor girl (whom I knew now as Lindsey) began to serve the food. It was much like a Thanksgiving dinner... sweet potatoes, rolls, stuffing, etc... but the main course that she was serving was gravy-filled loaves of bread. Her parents didn't seem surprised by this at all, so I played along and had some.
As we were eating our gravy bread, I suddenly realized where I had recognized her from. She was a model at an adult web site. I had seen her pictures before in various places, but it wasn't until now that I recognized her. I exclaimed "Ahh! You're Lindsey from RealPeachez.com!" Her eyes got big, surprised that I had recognized her... and ratted her out in front of her parents. She snapped back with "Don't call me that! My name is Ruth!" I just assumed that she was hiding what she did from her parents, so again I played along.
Dinner continued and she tried to serve us several more loaves of gravy bread, but I had my fill and was trying to find an excuse to leave. Finally we all got up from the table, and I made my way towards their front door. In the living room, on my way out, I noticed that several professional photographers were setting up expensive equipment and lights. It was then that I realized that her parents help her run her website out of their living room, and that she had invited me over so that she could try to have a normal life - in contrast to her online Lindsey persona. I felt a bit silly, having used my relatively cheap digital camera to shoot some normal candid photos of her earlier, considering that she was obviously used to much more professional equipment.
(You can visit the actual RealPeachez web site by clicking here. Obviously, adult content ahead... heh)
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Weirdness With The Girls I Know
This dream started out with me, Misty, and my cousin Jim - all camping in a field near a big forest. It was night, and Jim and I thought it would be funny to scare Misty by making her think that something came out of the woods and took me away. We all grabbed our flashlights and headed towards the edge of the woods, flashlights in hand... when Jim made a noise to distract Misty. When she looked in his direction, I dove into the weeds and bushes that were along the edge of the woods. I shut off my flashlight and lay there quietly, waiting to hear if she got scared. Well, shortly after that - I saw something dart out of the woods, snatch Misty up, and pull her down into the ground. Jim and I ran away.
The dream then changed to where I was still walking through the woods at night, but this time I was following Tabatha to her house, where she was having a big bonfire. I was walking her home from work, which I could tell because we had our uniforms on, and when we got to the top of the hill near her property line I saw some guy standing there. I asked if it was okay if I walked up to the house with her, or if her husband would get mad, and she said it should be okay. I walked along with her, and when I went past this guy standing there Tabatha didn't say anything. I assumed it was her husband, but when I tried to introduce myself to him - the guy just walked away, saying his name was Jimmy. We never did see her husband, and the night continued with a bunch of us sitting around a big bonfire joking and laughing. This part of the dream ended when a bunch of Africans came up to me and started bugging me, asking me if I had change for a $20.
I then woke up (in my dream) in the living room of Jim's old house on Hubert Ave, in the middle of the night, to the sound of people knocking on my door. It turns out that it was Pam, one of my good friends from high school. I guess she had moved to Lancaster a few months before that, and she wanted to stop by and catch up. It was probably 3am, but she came inside and we sat down in the dark living room to talk about stuff... but I kept nodding off, because I was so tired. I was trying to tell her about a crazy dream I had just had about her, but I only got about half-way through before I started throwing up pumpkin guts and falling asleep. (Gross, I know)
But I woke up a few minutes later, continued telling her about my dream... which, oddly enough, was the dream I actually had about Misty, which I mentioned earlier in this entry. She told me how her and her husband had gotten a divorce, and that's why she moved back to Ohio from Florida. We both fell asleep in the living room there, but we were awakened shortly after by a PIG walking into the room and sniffing at my ear. I jumped up, and Pam woke up and started shouting at the pig... she said its name was Fred. How she knew, I have no idea.
The dream then changed to where I was still walking through the woods at night, but this time I was following Tabatha to her house, where she was having a big bonfire. I was walking her home from work, which I could tell because we had our uniforms on, and when we got to the top of the hill near her property line I saw some guy standing there. I asked if it was okay if I walked up to the house with her, or if her husband would get mad, and she said it should be okay. I walked along with her, and when I went past this guy standing there Tabatha didn't say anything. I assumed it was her husband, but when I tried to introduce myself to him - the guy just walked away, saying his name was Jimmy. We never did see her husband, and the night continued with a bunch of us sitting around a big bonfire joking and laughing. This part of the dream ended when a bunch of Africans came up to me and started bugging me, asking me if I had change for a $20.
I then woke up (in my dream) in the living room of Jim's old house on Hubert Ave, in the middle of the night, to the sound of people knocking on my door. It turns out that it was Pam, one of my good friends from high school. I guess she had moved to Lancaster a few months before that, and she wanted to stop by and catch up. It was probably 3am, but she came inside and we sat down in the dark living room to talk about stuff... but I kept nodding off, because I was so tired. I was trying to tell her about a crazy dream I had just had about her, but I only got about half-way through before I started throwing up pumpkin guts and falling asleep. (Gross, I know)
But I woke up a few minutes later, continued telling her about my dream... which, oddly enough, was the dream I actually had about Misty, which I mentioned earlier in this entry. She told me how her and her husband had gotten a divorce, and that's why she moved back to Ohio from Florida. We both fell asleep in the living room there, but we were awakened shortly after by a PIG walking into the room and sniffing at my ear. I jumped up, and Pam woke up and started shouting at the pig... she said its name was Fred. How she knew, I have no idea.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Living Dead Game
I was living in my old house in Millersport, when two of my old friends stopped by to see me. First Ami and her husband stopped by, but I was asleep - so they just knocked on the door and then left when I didn't answer. Pam stopped by later, when it was getting dark, and we decided to take a walk up through the park and towards the school.
It was dark now, and we were concerned that someone would catch us on school property when we weren't supposed to be, so we were sneaking through the woods that surrounded the school property. I heard voices in the distance, so I told her to lay down on the ground so that we could blend in until the people went by. Well, within a few minutes we saw several dozen people staggering around, making noise, heading in the direction of the school. I motioned to Pam to get up so we could continue, to see what was going on, but she had fallen asleep on the ground.
She woke up and continued towards the school with me, but we were immediately spotted by a bunch of the staggering people... people that we realized were dead zombies, roaming the land around the school. We figured the best way to avoid being attacked was to pretend that we were zombies too, and it worked. We staggered along with the rest of the dead people until we reached the rear of the school where there was a giant dragon, made of ceramic material.
The dragon reared back and was going to attack a bunch of us walking nearby, so my reaction was to defend me and Pam - so I took out a sword and attacked the dragon, causing the body to smash into pieces and the giant head to fall to the ground. I felt like I was in a videogame at this point, so I tried to think what a game character would do next. Normally when you beat a "boss" character, you are rewarded with a coin or a key... so I smashed the head open by slamming it on the ground again, and inside I found a key that would allow Pam and I to escape into the school, away from the zombies.
In the meantime, the zombies had noticed when I attacked and killed the dragon - so they realized that me and Pam weren't one of them. Three zombies immediately attacked me, one of them pushing me to the ground and another one of them trying to bite and infect me - but Pam saved me at the last moment by stabbing them in the spine, killing them. Then, for reasons that we never figured out, Pam discovered that she could turn all the zombies back into humans by kissing them. So, she went around carefully kissing all the zombies without being bit - saving the day and turning most everyone back to normal.
It was dark now, and we were concerned that someone would catch us on school property when we weren't supposed to be, so we were sneaking through the woods that surrounded the school property. I heard voices in the distance, so I told her to lay down on the ground so that we could blend in until the people went by. Well, within a few minutes we saw several dozen people staggering around, making noise, heading in the direction of the school. I motioned to Pam to get up so we could continue, to see what was going on, but she had fallen asleep on the ground.
She woke up and continued towards the school with me, but we were immediately spotted by a bunch of the staggering people... people that we realized were dead zombies, roaming the land around the school. We figured the best way to avoid being attacked was to pretend that we were zombies too, and it worked. We staggered along with the rest of the dead people until we reached the rear of the school where there was a giant dragon, made of ceramic material.
The dragon reared back and was going to attack a bunch of us walking nearby, so my reaction was to defend me and Pam - so I took out a sword and attacked the dragon, causing the body to smash into pieces and the giant head to fall to the ground. I felt like I was in a videogame at this point, so I tried to think what a game character would do next. Normally when you beat a "boss" character, you are rewarded with a coin or a key... so I smashed the head open by slamming it on the ground again, and inside I found a key that would allow Pam and I to escape into the school, away from the zombies.
In the meantime, the zombies had noticed when I attacked and killed the dragon - so they realized that me and Pam weren't one of them. Three zombies immediately attacked me, one of them pushing me to the ground and another one of them trying to bite and infect me - but Pam saved me at the last moment by stabbing them in the spine, killing them. Then, for reasons that we never figured out, Pam discovered that she could turn all the zombies back into humans by kissing them. So, she went around carefully kissing all the zombies without being bit - saving the day and turning most everyone back to normal.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Crazy Larry
I was driving my car, on my way to work, when I felt all four tires go flat. I pulled over and got out my little mini-go-kart and started to continue the drive to my job. When I went into a little valley beneath a highway overpass, the cement was freshly poured - and my little go-kart quickly sank and got stuck. I hopped out and began walking, when I noticed Larry walking on the other side of the road in the same direction.
I told Larry how I was having car troubles and I was late for work, so he offered me a ride in his tractor trailer. When I got into the back of the trailer, I saw that he had kidnapped a man and a girl, and was forcing them to go to work with us. The man was all screaming and crazy, but the girl didn't seem quite as upset. Larry then shot the man, sending him falling out of the back of the moving trailer - and the girl and I began singing "The Rodeo Song" in order to appear "at ease" with Larry, in hopes that he didn't shoot us as well. It was strange though, because the girl was singing the song, but all the lyrics were wrong.
I told Larry how I was having car troubles and I was late for work, so he offered me a ride in his tractor trailer. When I got into the back of the trailer, I saw that he had kidnapped a man and a girl, and was forcing them to go to work with us. The man was all screaming and crazy, but the girl didn't seem quite as upset. Larry then shot the man, sending him falling out of the back of the moving trailer - and the girl and I began singing "The Rodeo Song" in order to appear "at ease" with Larry, in hopes that he didn't shoot us as well. It was strange though, because the girl was singing the song, but all the lyrics were wrong.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Buckeye Lake Corpses
I was out on my pontoon boat, on Buckeye Lake, when I saw two giant tour boats heading towards each other. These boats were full of tourists, mostly old people. When one of the boats entered the wake of the other, it went up into the air and flipped over - tossing all of the old people into the water. Instead of swimming, all of the old people instantly died, as if they had fallen into a vat of poison or acid or something.
I drove my boat to the docks at Leibs Island and got out to tell everyone what I had seen. As I was doing that, I noticed that a Buckeye Lake Ranger was following me in her own boat - pulling all of the dead people in the water towards the shore. I started yelling at her, telling her that she was going to be bringing disease to everyone that was there. She kept insisting that she needed to pull the corpses in, so they could be burned and disposed of properly. In order to get away from the diseased corpses, I got back in my boat and headed back towards the middle of the lake - while the ranger arranged all the bodies in a pile near a shallow section of the shore and began to set them all on fire.
I drove my boat to the docks at Leibs Island and got out to tell everyone what I had seen. As I was doing that, I noticed that a Buckeye Lake Ranger was following me in her own boat - pulling all of the dead people in the water towards the shore. I started yelling at her, telling her that she was going to be bringing disease to everyone that was there. She kept insisting that she needed to pull the corpses in, so they could be burned and disposed of properly. In order to get away from the diseased corpses, I got back in my boat and headed back towards the middle of the lake - while the ranger arranged all the bodies in a pile near a shallow section of the shore and began to set them all on fire.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Wendi Lost Her Jacket
I was sitting near the edge of a lake, taking photographs, when I saw my cousin Wendi and one of her friends standing on the docks near the small marina. They were looking in the water, talking to some official looking person that was standing next to them. It seems that Wendi had dropped her jacket into the lake, and she was convincing them that they needed to drain the lake so that she could get it.
Before they did, I snuck over to that area and walked out on one of the boat docks. The path was wide as it went out over the water, until I reached an area that was only about 6" wide. I hopped down onto this beam that was going over the water, and I then realized that I was too scared to turn around and get back on the regular dock - so I'd have to try to run along this beam, back to the shore. I took several steps and was doing okay, then the beam connected to a big log... and when I stepped on the log, it began to roll in the water. I kept going and luckily made it to shore without falling in.
A friend of mine from high school was watching as I did this, and he made some sort of comment about it - and then he told me to look at his bumper on his truck. I was still shocked that I made it all the way without falling into the water, but he didn't want to hear about that. He told me again to look at his bumper, which had fallen off and left only the attaching bolts. I pulled that part the rest of the way off and remarked how it looked like one of those Ab-Flex exercise devices.
I walked back along the shore to where I was taking pictures before and watched them drain the lake. Slowly the water level dropped, and even when the bottom of the lake was visible near the docks where Wendi was, there was no sign of her jacket. The officials were getting mad and then ended up calling her dad. Rick arrived and seemed mad as he walked by me, towards Wendi. Vicki was there as well, and she was just milling around by the shore - getting in the way while I was trying to take pictures of Wendi searching for her jacket.
Before they did, I snuck over to that area and walked out on one of the boat docks. The path was wide as it went out over the water, until I reached an area that was only about 6" wide. I hopped down onto this beam that was going over the water, and I then realized that I was too scared to turn around and get back on the regular dock - so I'd have to try to run along this beam, back to the shore. I took several steps and was doing okay, then the beam connected to a big log... and when I stepped on the log, it began to roll in the water. I kept going and luckily made it to shore without falling in.
A friend of mine from high school was watching as I did this, and he made some sort of comment about it - and then he told me to look at his bumper on his truck. I was still shocked that I made it all the way without falling into the water, but he didn't want to hear about that. He told me again to look at his bumper, which had fallen off and left only the attaching bolts. I pulled that part the rest of the way off and remarked how it looked like one of those Ab-Flex exercise devices.
I walked back along the shore to where I was taking pictures before and watched them drain the lake. Slowly the water level dropped, and even when the bottom of the lake was visible near the docks where Wendi was, there was no sign of her jacket. The officials were getting mad and then ended up calling her dad. Rick arrived and seemed mad as he walked by me, towards Wendi. Vicki was there as well, and she was just milling around by the shore - getting in the way while I was trying to take pictures of Wendi searching for her jacket.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Napoleon, Erica, Amanda, Tabatha, Stevie, Kelly, Flying...
It was nighttime and I was in the parking lot of Media Play in Columbus, although it was still the Children's Palace store that it was many years ago. I came out of the store and walked past a payphone... stuck my finger in the change slot and found a quarter. At another payphone just a few steps from me was the guy that played Napoleon Dynamite. As I walked towards him he got off the phone and walked to his car. Just to see, I stuck my finger in the change slot of that phone too and found $1.50 in quarters. I yelled to him that I found a bunch of quarters, and he replied "Lucky!"
Just then Stevie came walking out of the store and towards my direction. I told him how I just found a bunch of quarters in the phone, and that there was a baggie sitting next to it full of pennies and nickels, and that he should take it. He freaked out and started running away from me, saying that I was only trying to get him in trouble and that he wasn't going to take it. I grabbed the bag, since he didn't, and I noticed that it also had some tobacco in it - and it was water damaged from sitting in the rain for a while.
I took the bag with me to the parking lot and headed to my car. Amanda was sitting in the car waiting for me, and she saw that I was carrying a bag so she asked me what was in it. As I was explaining to her, I threw the bag away and hit Erica McLaughlin's car. (A girl I went to high school with many moons ago.) Erica and Tabatha picked up the bag, and in the process of fishing out the coins - they started grabbing clumps of the wet tobacco and threw them at us in my car. We were stuck in the parking lot, as there was a lot of traffic waiting to get out of the place, so the clumps kepts hitting me, hitting the car, making a mess of the area. Amanda was mad and wanted to get out and confront the other girls, but I just told her to stay in the car as I jumped all the way in and shut and locked our doors. Tabatha then went driving by in front of my car, shouting something at us. A space in the traffic finally opened up, so we were able to squeeze out and head home.
Once back at the house, it was getting light and Kelly was waiting there for a ride home. He didn't really say or do anything, other than patiently waiting and following me around. In order to get him home, I hopped on this tiny little wooden chair - about the size of my fist - and started to fly. I was still inside the house, and I was still learning how to make the chair fly properly - because every time I would start to get a little too high, the chair would become unstable and I'd have to jump off and land on the ground again. Mom and Genesee were getting annoyed that I couldn't seem to get it right, so I explained to them that I had never flown a chair that small - and that it was hard for me to get a handle on the controls when they were so tony. Eventually we made it out of the house and headed slowly down some back country road.
Just then Stevie came walking out of the store and towards my direction. I told him how I just found a bunch of quarters in the phone, and that there was a baggie sitting next to it full of pennies and nickels, and that he should take it. He freaked out and started running away from me, saying that I was only trying to get him in trouble and that he wasn't going to take it. I grabbed the bag, since he didn't, and I noticed that it also had some tobacco in it - and it was water damaged from sitting in the rain for a while.
I took the bag with me to the parking lot and headed to my car. Amanda was sitting in the car waiting for me, and she saw that I was carrying a bag so she asked me what was in it. As I was explaining to her, I threw the bag away and hit Erica McLaughlin's car. (A girl I went to high school with many moons ago.) Erica and Tabatha picked up the bag, and in the process of fishing out the coins - they started grabbing clumps of the wet tobacco and threw them at us in my car. We were stuck in the parking lot, as there was a lot of traffic waiting to get out of the place, so the clumps kepts hitting me, hitting the car, making a mess of the area. Amanda was mad and wanted to get out and confront the other girls, but I just told her to stay in the car as I jumped all the way in and shut and locked our doors. Tabatha then went driving by in front of my car, shouting something at us. A space in the traffic finally opened up, so we were able to squeeze out and head home.
Once back at the house, it was getting light and Kelly was waiting there for a ride home. He didn't really say or do anything, other than patiently waiting and following me around. In order to get him home, I hopped on this tiny little wooden chair - about the size of my fist - and started to fly. I was still inside the house, and I was still learning how to make the chair fly properly - because every time I would start to get a little too high, the chair would become unstable and I'd have to jump off and land on the ground again. Mom and Genesee were getting annoyed that I couldn't seem to get it right, so I explained to them that I had never flown a chair that small - and that it was hard for me to get a handle on the controls when they were so tony. Eventually we made it out of the house and headed slowly down some back country road.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Accidental Break-In
Amanda and I were shopping in Columbus in the evening, and we decided to stop by the Final Markdown. The parking lot was empty, but all of the lights were on in the store, so we got out of the car and headed towards the doors. The store was lit as if it were open, but we couldn't see anyone inside. Amanda decided that we should go in anyway, so I unlocked the door with my key and we headed inside. About 15 seconds after we went in, we heard an alarm go off. I asked Amanda why she didn't disable the alarm system, and she told me that she didn't remember the code.
We quickly headed back out the door, because I told her Armond would be coming soon to find out why the alarm on his store was going off. She ran out to the car, I walked at a normal pace behind her - but when we noticed that nobody was coming, we turned around and walked back into the store. The alarm was no longer going off, so we thought things might be okay now.
Once we were inside, we noticed that several other people had come in and were starting to steal things. We tried to tell them that the alarm was just going off, and that people would be coming to check on the store soon, but nobody wanted to listen. Before we could convince those people to get out, the police arrived. We all ran towards the back of the store and into one of the storage rooms. We could see the police going up and down the aisles, looking for intruders, and we realized that we were trapped in the back room with nowhere to hide.
Just as the police started catching some of the other people, Amanda and I noticed a big piece of plywood that was propped up against one of the back walls. There was just enough room for us to hide behind it, so we jumped over a railing and ducked behind the plywood until the police had rounded up the rest of the people and left.
We quickly headed back out the door, because I told her Armond would be coming soon to find out why the alarm on his store was going off. She ran out to the car, I walked at a normal pace behind her - but when we noticed that nobody was coming, we turned around and walked back into the store. The alarm was no longer going off, so we thought things might be okay now.
Once we were inside, we noticed that several other people had come in and were starting to steal things. We tried to tell them that the alarm was just going off, and that people would be coming to check on the store soon, but nobody wanted to listen. Before we could convince those people to get out, the police arrived. We all ran towards the back of the store and into one of the storage rooms. We could see the police going up and down the aisles, looking for intruders, and we realized that we were trapped in the back room with nowhere to hide.
Just as the police started catching some of the other people, Amanda and I noticed a big piece of plywood that was propped up against one of the back walls. There was just enough room for us to hide behind it, so we jumped over a railing and ducked behind the plywood until the police had rounded up the rest of the people and left.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Crushing Elevator
I was staying at a hotel in an Atlantic City casino, and I had to take one of the elevators to get from my room - down to the casino floor. Once I got in, the elevator started going down - but as it did, the ceiling started to come down towards the floor even faster. The elevator was slowly going to crush me, and my only hope was that I would reach the bottom floor before the ceiling reached the floor.
As I was passing the 4th, 3rd, 2nd floors... I saw a chance to roll out of the current elevator and into one that was travelling beside mine. I rolled out and the compartment I was just in sealed up, but this elevator was doing the same thing. Luckily, as the ceiling had me pressed against the floor, the elevator arrived at my floor and the doors opened up to let me out.
There was a woman standing there, looking at me laying on the ground, and she helped me up. She took me over towards the casino security office to file a report about what happened. As I was waiting for the security guard to take my statement, a cleaning lady that worked for that same casino started laughing at me and telling me that I was full of it, and that none of what I said even happened. I started yelling back at her and threatening to chase her down and kill her if she didn't shut up, because I had video to prove what happened.
Mom and Dad were playing slots right next to the security office, so they both heard what happened - but they didn't seem interested, almost as if they were embarassed by the situation and didn't want anyone to realize that they knew who I was. The woman (who now is recognizable... it was Amanda from work...) and I then left the security office and headed towards the area of the casino where the "grabby games" are. I looked through a few of them, and played a couple times - trying to use the claw to grab a stuffed animal for Amanda, but I was never sucessful. We had to leave empty handed.
As I was passing the 4th, 3rd, 2nd floors... I saw a chance to roll out of the current elevator and into one that was travelling beside mine. I rolled out and the compartment I was just in sealed up, but this elevator was doing the same thing. Luckily, as the ceiling had me pressed against the floor, the elevator arrived at my floor and the doors opened up to let me out.
There was a woman standing there, looking at me laying on the ground, and she helped me up. She took me over towards the casino security office to file a report about what happened. As I was waiting for the security guard to take my statement, a cleaning lady that worked for that same casino started laughing at me and telling me that I was full of it, and that none of what I said even happened. I started yelling back at her and threatening to chase her down and kill her if she didn't shut up, because I had video to prove what happened.
Mom and Dad were playing slots right next to the security office, so they both heard what happened - but they didn't seem interested, almost as if they were embarassed by the situation and didn't want anyone to realize that they knew who I was. The woman (who now is recognizable... it was Amanda from work...) and I then left the security office and headed towards the area of the casino where the "grabby games" are. I looked through a few of them, and played a couple times - trying to use the claw to grab a stuffed animal for Amanda, but I was never sucessful. We had to leave empty handed.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Ryan Newman Visits
I was in the middle of spring cleaning at my house when Ryan Newman came over for a visit. This was the first time I had met him, so I was a little nervous. He got to the house and we went out back to try out the new go-kart track that I had built. I told him that he could take the lead and I'd follow him around the track so I could find out what the best racing line was.
As soon as we started our first lap, I could tell he wasn't willing to help me learn. He went out and started racing all crazy, doing donuts, running into other cars and into the walls... so we just put in a few laps and then quit.
I headed back inside and started cleaning up the extra room where my computer and XBOX system was, and Ryan sat in the living room watching TV with Genesee. While I was cleaning, I was also taking breaks to get online and check my mail and stuff - and before I knew it, several hours had passed. I remembered that Ryan was waiting in the living room for me to finish up my cleaning so we could play some XBOX, but when I went out to check on him he was gone.
My cousin Jim was there instead. He said that Ryan left a while ago, because he thought I had fallen asleep in my chair. Jim then gave me a bunch of stuff that he found while he was at work, including an alarm clock and a laptop computer.
As soon as we started our first lap, I could tell he wasn't willing to help me learn. He went out and started racing all crazy, doing donuts, running into other cars and into the walls... so we just put in a few laps and then quit.
I headed back inside and started cleaning up the extra room where my computer and XBOX system was, and Ryan sat in the living room watching TV with Genesee. While I was cleaning, I was also taking breaks to get online and check my mail and stuff - and before I knew it, several hours had passed. I remembered that Ryan was waiting in the living room for me to finish up my cleaning so we could play some XBOX, but when I went out to check on him he was gone.
My cousin Jim was there instead. He said that Ryan left a while ago, because he thought I had fallen asleep in my chair. Jim then gave me a bunch of stuff that he found while he was at work, including an alarm clock and a laptop computer.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Crazy Bus Ride
Amanda and I were working nightshift in a casino somewhere, and it was time for us to clock out and go home. We made our way to an exit, but we kept trying to scan our badges and were having no success. I swiped mine a few times in a reader on one side of the wall, she did the same on the other side. She started pressing buttons on the intercom, trying to get security to let us out - just as someone came out of a side room to show us an alternative.
The guy showed us that if we stuck our badges in this older looking card reader, it would clock us out and let us out of the building. I ran my badge through the machine, and it spit out a paper receipt with handwritten entries showing my name, badge number, the time I clocked out, along with a couple other things. Amanda did the same and we headed on our way.
As soon as we got outside we hopped in a taxi that was waiting there. I got in the driver's seat, she got in the back. As we started to take off, I realized that the roads were icy and the drop-off area where we were was covered was very constricted. I slowly pulled out of the taxi queue and turned to head down the hill past the bus stop pickup area. As I went down the hill I pushed the brake pedal to the floor, but the taxi still kept sliding down the hill past some people and towards the busses. The road was narrow so there was no way for me to avoid hitting the bus if we didn't stop.
When we reached the bottom of the hill, we were now suddenly on the bus that we were going to hit with the taxi. Instead of Amanda, it was now Gloria that was with me. The bus was parked, and we heard a voice saying that it was the bus driver's 25th anniversay with the company, and that if anyone wanted to shake her hand they should come outside now. Everyone left the bus except for me and Gloria... so I ran up front and took over, pulling away from the bus stop.
We travelled until it was getting light, then we stopped off at a rest area. There was an older "mom & pop" type truck stop there that sold a variety of things, including NES games which were advertised on their display as "3 for $7.00" We got back on the bus and continued down the road... and without explanation it was nighttime again.
I attempted to take an exit off of the freeway, but the bus was going too fast. We started onto the ramp but realized that the brakes weren't slowing the bus enough to make the curve - so I turned the wheel left and made the bus jump off the road and down towards the interstate that we were wanting to merge onto. (Picture the I-270 S -to- I-70 E exit on the east side of Columbus) The bus banged the ground as it jumped off the road, quickly crossed the other road, and headed towards an embankment on the other side. When we hit it, the bus went up in the air but landed relatively gently a few hundred feet later. We were driving off the side of the road, but the bus was still travelling way too fast. We hit another hill on the side of the road, sending the bus flipping and flying through the air again. We landed on the wheels without damage and ended up coming to a rest outside of a videogame convention.
We got out of the bus to make sure we didn't hurt anyone and to explore what was going on. (It was Amanda that was with me again. *shrug*) We saw Carl when we got out of the bus, and realized it was some sort of Star Wars / XBOX convention, and there were rows and rows of people standing around at game machines. As we walked past them, I remarked to Carl that they must be using XBOX 360 technology - because everyone we walked past actually had the face of someone that I knew. It seemed that something scanned my PC, downloaded all of my personal pictures, and then displayed the faces from those pictures onto the people that were playing the game machines. We walked around for a while, looking at people and trying to figure out what picture their face came from.
The guy showed us that if we stuck our badges in this older looking card reader, it would clock us out and let us out of the building. I ran my badge through the machine, and it spit out a paper receipt with handwritten entries showing my name, badge number, the time I clocked out, along with a couple other things. Amanda did the same and we headed on our way.
As soon as we got outside we hopped in a taxi that was waiting there. I got in the driver's seat, she got in the back. As we started to take off, I realized that the roads were icy and the drop-off area where we were was covered was very constricted. I slowly pulled out of the taxi queue and turned to head down the hill past the bus stop pickup area. As I went down the hill I pushed the brake pedal to the floor, but the taxi still kept sliding down the hill past some people and towards the busses. The road was narrow so there was no way for me to avoid hitting the bus if we didn't stop.
When we reached the bottom of the hill, we were now suddenly on the bus that we were going to hit with the taxi. Instead of Amanda, it was now Gloria that was with me. The bus was parked, and we heard a voice saying that it was the bus driver's 25th anniversay with the company, and that if anyone wanted to shake her hand they should come outside now. Everyone left the bus except for me and Gloria... so I ran up front and took over, pulling away from the bus stop.
We travelled until it was getting light, then we stopped off at a rest area. There was an older "mom & pop" type truck stop there that sold a variety of things, including NES games which were advertised on their display as "3 for $7.00" We got back on the bus and continued down the road... and without explanation it was nighttime again.
I attempted to take an exit off of the freeway, but the bus was going too fast. We started onto the ramp but realized that the brakes weren't slowing the bus enough to make the curve - so I turned the wheel left and made the bus jump off the road and down towards the interstate that we were wanting to merge onto. (Picture the I-270 S -to- I-70 E exit on the east side of Columbus) The bus banged the ground as it jumped off the road, quickly crossed the other road, and headed towards an embankment on the other side. When we hit it, the bus went up in the air but landed relatively gently a few hundred feet later. We were driving off the side of the road, but the bus was still travelling way too fast. We hit another hill on the side of the road, sending the bus flipping and flying through the air again. We landed on the wheels without damage and ended up coming to a rest outside of a videogame convention.
We got out of the bus to make sure we didn't hurt anyone and to explore what was going on. (It was Amanda that was with me again. *shrug*) We saw Carl when we got out of the bus, and realized it was some sort of Star Wars / XBOX convention, and there were rows and rows of people standing around at game machines. As we walked past them, I remarked to Carl that they must be using XBOX 360 technology - because everyone we walked past actually had the face of someone that I knew. It seemed that something scanned my PC, downloaded all of my personal pictures, and then displayed the faces from those pictures onto the people that were playing the game machines. We walked around for a while, looking at people and trying to figure out what picture their face came from.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Big Wheel
I had just purchased a new adult sized big-wheel and was out in the road in front of the house, getting ready to take it for a test drive. For some reason, it wasn't ridden like a big-wheel most of us had when we were kids. You had to actually lay on your stomach on the big-wheel to operate it, pedalling the thing with your hands. So, I was on the thing, resting my head on the handlebars to steer... and I headed down the road.
I went a couple of blocks and then turned around to go back to the house. As I drove up onto the sidewalk, I saw our neighbor and two of her kids walking down the sidewalk towards me. They looked and kinda smiled, probably amused by the sight of an old guy like me riding a big wheel... especially since I was on my belly and steering with my face. After I went past, they yelled to me that they were disappointed that I never updated my webcam page anymore. I didn't realize that they knew about that page, so I told them that I would turn it on as soon as I got back home.
So I went back into the house and went up into my attic, where I had an elaborate webcam and computer system set up. I grabbed my phone and called the neighbors to let them know that everything was turned back on again. I also told them that sometimes I aim my cam out the windows and it catches some of their yard in the field of view, and all they had to do was let me know if they ever wanted me to turn it in another direction. As I was talking to them, I heard a knock on the door.
The neighbor girl on the phone said "did you hear that?" because she could see the person knocking on our front door from her window. I looked out the window and saw that it was a Brinks security van. I went downstairs and let the guy in. Dad had called him for some reason, and he was there to inspect the house for potential fire hazards.
I went a couple of blocks and then turned around to go back to the house. As I drove up onto the sidewalk, I saw our neighbor and two of her kids walking down the sidewalk towards me. They looked and kinda smiled, probably amused by the sight of an old guy like me riding a big wheel... especially since I was on my belly and steering with my face. After I went past, they yelled to me that they were disappointed that I never updated my webcam page anymore. I didn't realize that they knew about that page, so I told them that I would turn it on as soon as I got back home.
So I went back into the house and went up into my attic, where I had an elaborate webcam and computer system set up. I grabbed my phone and called the neighbors to let them know that everything was turned back on again. I also told them that sometimes I aim my cam out the windows and it catches some of their yard in the field of view, and all they had to do was let me know if they ever wanted me to turn it in another direction. As I was talking to them, I heard a knock on the door.
The neighbor girl on the phone said "did you hear that?" because she could see the person knocking on our front door from her window. I looked out the window and saw that it was a Brinks security van. I went downstairs and let the guy in. Dad had called him for some reason, and he was there to inspect the house for potential fire hazards.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Dead Junkies
My cousin and I were working as police officers, and we were supposed to be patrolling an old mall at night. Much of the mall was abandoned, with only a few stores still left. We entered the mall and saw lots of trash, empty stores, empty boxes... a general mess. As we were walking, we saw an old man walking out of of one of the rooms at the far end of the mall. He saw us and ran back into the store he came from, so we chased after him.
We chased him into a store at the far end of the mall, where we discovered that him and a friend were camping out and smoking crack. I grabbed one of the old guys by the shoulder and he turned around and aimed a gun at my head. I just grabbed the gun and wrestled it away from him. I told him that I didn't care if he wanted to shoot at me - it wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. He gave up after that and let my cousin lead him away. The second guy wasn't as cooperative. He saw his friend being handcuffed and taken away, so he decided to turn his gun on himself - and he shot himself in the head.
The detective that came to clean up the scene made it look as good as new, and behind the register on the floor he left a personal check for $150 to make up for the missing money that the old guys had stolen before we had gotten there.
We chased him into a store at the far end of the mall, where we discovered that him and a friend were camping out and smoking crack. I grabbed one of the old guys by the shoulder and he turned around and aimed a gun at my head. I just grabbed the gun and wrestled it away from him. I told him that I didn't care if he wanted to shoot at me - it wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. He gave up after that and let my cousin lead him away. The second guy wasn't as cooperative. He saw his friend being handcuffed and taken away, so he decided to turn his gun on himself - and he shot himself in the head.
The detective that came to clean up the scene made it look as good as new, and behind the register on the floor he left a personal check for $150 to make up for the missing money that the old guys had stolen before we had gotten there.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Lancaster NASCAR Race
I showed up at the Fairfield County Fairgrounds to participate in a late night NASCAR Nextel cup race. I hadn't driven in the series before, so I was nervous about getting out on the track and at least staying out of everyone's way. I arrived late, so cars were already practicing on the track before I had even gotten in my car. When I did, I noticed that Bobby Labonte was sitting in the back seat. He was already suited up and had his helmet on, so I just put on my helmet and my little radio headset for communications. I keyed the mic and asked if Bobby could hear me, but my crew chief said that he couldn't. Apparently he wasn't there to help me really... he was just along for the ride.
We made our way onto the track, but I went out going the wrong direction. Bobby seemed to have at least partial control of the car, because I told him that I made a mistake and that maybe he should turn the car around so we could head the other direction and get some practice laps in before the race.
The next thing I know, the cars are gone and the stands are empty. I'm no longer in my car, but instead I'm walking around the empty track, picking up trash. It was dark, since it was the middle of the night, so it was a little bit creepy. There were a few other people working in the area, and I was watching them to see if they were watching me. It turns out that I wasn't really working for the cleanup crew, and that I was just picking up trash because I was trying to find good stuff that people lost earlier in the night.
In turn three I started finding the good stuff. People had left lots of CDs laying around on the ground and in the stands. I found a Billy Joel boxed set, a few Genesis CDs, as well as a Huey Lewis and The News collectors set. I gathered them up quickly, and acted as if I was going to turn them in to someone - just in case anyone was watching me - but I knew that I was really going to take my new-found booty home with me.
We made our way onto the track, but I went out going the wrong direction. Bobby seemed to have at least partial control of the car, because I told him that I made a mistake and that maybe he should turn the car around so we could head the other direction and get some practice laps in before the race.
The next thing I know, the cars are gone and the stands are empty. I'm no longer in my car, but instead I'm walking around the empty track, picking up trash. It was dark, since it was the middle of the night, so it was a little bit creepy. There were a few other people working in the area, and I was watching them to see if they were watching me. It turns out that I wasn't really working for the cleanup crew, and that I was just picking up trash because I was trying to find good stuff that people lost earlier in the night.
In turn three I started finding the good stuff. People had left lots of CDs laying around on the ground and in the stands. I found a Billy Joel boxed set, a few Genesis CDs, as well as a Huey Lewis and The News collectors set. I gathered them up quickly, and acted as if I was going to turn them in to someone - just in case anyone was watching me - but I knew that I was really going to take my new-found booty home with me.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Bauman Hill Battle
I was hiding in some trees near the edge of the woods on the property that my family used to own on Bauman Hill. I was next to some military folks that were shooting downrange from us, apparently at an army that was advancing towards our position. Before I knew it, the people next to me were gone - leaving me hiding in the trees by myself.
As the other army approached, I could see that they were members of the Union army, as they were all wearing blue coats. I wasn't sure if they were coming to get me or not, so I did a quick turn and ran in the other direction before they were close enough to see me. I made it down to where the path begins that leads back to the cliff in the woods, and began running down towards it to take cover.
When I reached where the cliff would normally be, I found that a group of Amish people had actually built a little village down there, with their buildings and homes constructed out of the natural rock faces that were already there. They looked at me as I entered the area, but they didn't seem too concerned - so I just acted like I belonged there. Shortly after I arrived, they noticed the Union army coming down the path.
While I still think they were looking for me, they were also coming to this village in order to get something to eat. I hid behind a corner while they went by me and filed into a big dining area. Several of the Amish people were watching me, and I believe they knew that I was hiding from the army, but they didn't rat me out. After all of the Union army had made it into the building, I snuck out and headed as fast as I could back up the trail and out to where my friends were now waiting for me.
Jason Figgins and Nathan Carpenter were at the top of the trail, but they didn't have a vehicle with them. They were joking about how they got so drunk the night before that they forgot where all of our cars were parked. We walked down the road a ways and past a gas station, where we saw someone crash a Toyota MR2 into a big black truck. We thought that they were going to fight, so we avoided the gas station and continued to an apartment complex. (We were now in Lancaster, near Memorial Dr and Fair Ave)
We walked through this group of apartments, and it looked as if nobody was living in any of them. Jason was making a lot of noise, and I was still nervous that someone was going to find us and start shooting again, but it really did appear that nobody cared about us in that area. There was one apartment that was actually three stories tall, with the walls made almost completely of glass. Jason joked with me that he thought that it was abandoned, but once we got closer we could tell that someone was still living there. I was disappointed.
As the other army approached, I could see that they were members of the Union army, as they were all wearing blue coats. I wasn't sure if they were coming to get me or not, so I did a quick turn and ran in the other direction before they were close enough to see me. I made it down to where the path begins that leads back to the cliff in the woods, and began running down towards it to take cover.
When I reached where the cliff would normally be, I found that a group of Amish people had actually built a little village down there, with their buildings and homes constructed out of the natural rock faces that were already there. They looked at me as I entered the area, but they didn't seem too concerned - so I just acted like I belonged there. Shortly after I arrived, they noticed the Union army coming down the path.
While I still think they were looking for me, they were also coming to this village in order to get something to eat. I hid behind a corner while they went by me and filed into a big dining area. Several of the Amish people were watching me, and I believe they knew that I was hiding from the army, but they didn't rat me out. After all of the Union army had made it into the building, I snuck out and headed as fast as I could back up the trail and out to where my friends were now waiting for me.
Jason Figgins and Nathan Carpenter were at the top of the trail, but they didn't have a vehicle with them. They were joking about how they got so drunk the night before that they forgot where all of our cars were parked. We walked down the road a ways and past a gas station, where we saw someone crash a Toyota MR2 into a big black truck. We thought that they were going to fight, so we avoided the gas station and continued to an apartment complex. (We were now in Lancaster, near Memorial Dr and Fair Ave)
We walked through this group of apartments, and it looked as if nobody was living in any of them. Jason was making a lot of noise, and I was still nervous that someone was going to find us and start shooting again, but it really did appear that nobody cared about us in that area. There was one apartment that was actually three stories tall, with the walls made almost completely of glass. Jason joked with me that he thought that it was abandoned, but once we got closer we could tell that someone was still living there. I was disappointed.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Raining Aluminum Siding
I was walking through a parking lot of some shopping center, when the weather turned cloudy and grim. I could see that the wind was picking up - and it began tossing debris around in the air, almost like a tornado. In the distance I could see things being pulled into the air, and they were coming in my direction. I kept watching these things flying through the air towards me, until suddenly one of the objects slammed into the pavement a few feet away from me.
It seems that aluminum siding was being ripped off of a building somewhere, and now those pieces of siding were being carried through the air and then shot down towards the ground with extreme force. The first piece came down and stuck in the pavement like an arrow shot out of a crossbow. I immediately realized how dangerous this was, and I began running to get out of the parking lot and under cover. The pieces started falling faster, shooting into the blacktop every few seconds. I dove underneath one of the parked cars, but then I heard one of the pieces of siding hit another car - and it went straight through the metal and lodged itself into the pavement just like the other pieces. I quickly scurried out from under the car and started running as fast as I could to get away.
It seems that aluminum siding was being ripped off of a building somewhere, and now those pieces of siding were being carried through the air and then shot down towards the ground with extreme force. The first piece came down and stuck in the pavement like an arrow shot out of a crossbow. I immediately realized how dangerous this was, and I began running to get out of the parking lot and under cover. The pieces started falling faster, shooting into the blacktop every few seconds. I dove underneath one of the parked cars, but then I heard one of the pieces of siding hit another car - and it went straight through the metal and lodged itself into the pavement just like the other pieces. I quickly scurried out from under the car and started running as fast as I could to get away.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Late For School
Along some country road, I was waiting for the schoolbus to pick me up and take me to school. The weather was overcast and cool, almost as if it had just quit raining. The bus didn't look like it was going to show up, so I began to move down the road myself... although instead of walking, I sort of crouched over and ran using my legs and my arms, kinda like a gorilla - but much faster. I covered several hundred yards before I came upon a couple of old houses.
The weeds had grown up around these houses, but one of them was still being used by someone as their home. I made my way across his lawn, through the weeds and bushes, and then took a shortcut through the abandoned little home that was next door. I was a little afraid to go all the way inside, because I felt like something was in there to get me - so I just kind of ran/jumped across the front porch, down into the storm cellar, and then back out into the field towards the road.
Mom picked me up, since the bus obviously wasn't coming, but we were headed in the wrong direction. I looked down at the clock in the car and it said 8:40am - and I had to be at school by 9:00am. I knew we weren't going to make it, and we were getting stuck at every red light in town. I guess mom thought I had forgotten something and we had to go back to the house to get it.
Before I made it to school, I ended up getting dropped off at a big barn along the road that heads to Millersport. It was suddenly night time, but I was still concerned with being late for school. Since I didn't have any way to get there now, I decided to head in the barn and go up into the loft. The loft had been converted into an old-time saloon. There were old fixtures everywhere, and lots of old people drinking and chatting. The only lights seemed to be coming from oil lamps hung around the room, so it was very dark. The bartender/host was demonstrating his ghost-capturing machine to me, which was on display to the right of the bar.
You would stick your hand into this small wooden hole, which looked quite a bit like a guillotine, and pull on a lever. He said something about the ghost "leaving the chamber" and travelling along the cable at 9.5 mph. I looked up and saw that the cable was strewn about the room, going through various other wooden contraptions that were hanging from the ceiling. I pulled the lever a few times... dust flew from the device, but no ghosts seemed to be alarmed.
I checked my watch again, and it was now 9:40pm. I was still in somewhat of a hurry because I had to be at school by 10:00pm - but this time I just gave up and accepted that I wasn't going to make it today. I was just hoping that I had enough "points" that I could miss a day without getting into trouble. The bar was closing, so I stumbled over to where I put my shoes... yeah, apparently everyone takes their shoes off in this barn... a couple of old men commented that I was late for school, to which I replied that I knew and didn't care.
The weeds had grown up around these houses, but one of them was still being used by someone as their home. I made my way across his lawn, through the weeds and bushes, and then took a shortcut through the abandoned little home that was next door. I was a little afraid to go all the way inside, because I felt like something was in there to get me - so I just kind of ran/jumped across the front porch, down into the storm cellar, and then back out into the field towards the road.
Mom picked me up, since the bus obviously wasn't coming, but we were headed in the wrong direction. I looked down at the clock in the car and it said 8:40am - and I had to be at school by 9:00am. I knew we weren't going to make it, and we were getting stuck at every red light in town. I guess mom thought I had forgotten something and we had to go back to the house to get it.
Before I made it to school, I ended up getting dropped off at a big barn along the road that heads to Millersport. It was suddenly night time, but I was still concerned with being late for school. Since I didn't have any way to get there now, I decided to head in the barn and go up into the loft. The loft had been converted into an old-time saloon. There were old fixtures everywhere, and lots of old people drinking and chatting. The only lights seemed to be coming from oil lamps hung around the room, so it was very dark. The bartender/host was demonstrating his ghost-capturing machine to me, which was on display to the right of the bar.
You would stick your hand into this small wooden hole, which looked quite a bit like a guillotine, and pull on a lever. He said something about the ghost "leaving the chamber" and travelling along the cable at 9.5 mph. I looked up and saw that the cable was strewn about the room, going through various other wooden contraptions that were hanging from the ceiling. I pulled the lever a few times... dust flew from the device, but no ghosts seemed to be alarmed.
I checked my watch again, and it was now 9:40pm. I was still in somewhat of a hurry because I had to be at school by 10:00pm - but this time I just gave up and accepted that I wasn't going to make it today. I was just hoping that I had enough "points" that I could miss a day without getting into trouble. The bar was closing, so I stumbled over to where I put my shoes... yeah, apparently everyone takes their shoes off in this barn... a couple of old men commented that I was late for school, to which I replied that I knew and didn't care.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Apartment In Lancaster's Ghetto
Apparently Genesee and I were looking for our new apartment that we had just decided to rent. I don't think we had been there before, because we were wandering around downtown Lancaster looking for it. We found this old looking multi-story apartment building on one of the roads (which doesn't really exist in downtown Lancaster, but anyway...) and walked into the empty apartment on the ground floor. We were happy that we found it, and were able to get off the streets - it was late at night, and we were scared that the bad element in the area would "get us" or something...
Once inside we quickly shut and locked the door, then turned back around to peer out of the blinds to see if anyone was watching us move into our new home. The whole area looked deserted, but we still closed all the blinds and made sure all of the doors were locked. The apartment, inside, looked as if it had been frozen in time from the late 1960s. All of the appliances were old fashioned, the walls were drab and faded, no decorations or carpets to be found, and nothing in any of the rooms had any color. It was a completely uninspiring place to have to live.
I made my way to the local thrift store, where I headed straight for the electronics section. I was there to look for things to furnish our new apartment, but I quickly spotted something that said "COLECOVISION" in big block letters. At first I thought I had found a nice looking old game system for $9.96, but when I looked closer - it turned out to be a very old laptop computer. I was able to power it on, seeing that it had a whopping 10megs of memory. I quickly closed it up and placed it in a big tupperware container. I was pleased at the deal I was going to get, and I knew that it was worth a great deal more than what they were trying to sell it for. (Of course, a ColecoVision laptop computer doesn't exist either... heh)
Once inside we quickly shut and locked the door, then turned back around to peer out of the blinds to see if anyone was watching us move into our new home. The whole area looked deserted, but we still closed all the blinds and made sure all of the doors were locked. The apartment, inside, looked as if it had been frozen in time from the late 1960s. All of the appliances were old fashioned, the walls were drab and faded, no decorations or carpets to be found, and nothing in any of the rooms had any color. It was a completely uninspiring place to have to live.
I made my way to the local thrift store, where I headed straight for the electronics section. I was there to look for things to furnish our new apartment, but I quickly spotted something that said "COLECOVISION" in big block letters. At first I thought I had found a nice looking old game system for $9.96, but when I looked closer - it turned out to be a very old laptop computer. I was able to power it on, seeing that it had a whopping 10megs of memory. I quickly closed it up and placed it in a big tupperware container. I was pleased at the deal I was going to get, and I knew that it was worth a great deal more than what they were trying to sell it for. (Of course, a ColecoVision laptop computer doesn't exist either... heh)
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Security Check
I was working as a security guard in some store in an inner-city area, and I was responsible for keeping watch on the parking lot. It was dark, raining, and generally crappy out, and none of the other guards were willing to go an patrol the lot - so I was the only one that went outside to do it. I made my rounds of the lot, checking the cars, making sure nothing was going on... and I found a few items in the lot while I was doing that. I found a handheld radio that our stock workers are supposed to use, and I found a box that had a ring and a single earring inside of it.
I stuck those items in my pocket and headed back towards the store. When I got near the doors, I noticed that there were several sheriff deputies standing around, and I overheard that they were looking for me. I was worried that they'd think I was trying to steal the radio and the jewelry, so I ducked inside of a car that was open. I thought I was hidden, but my boss (Charlie) opened the passenger side and got in to question me. He kept asking me where I had been, why I wasn't working, why I left the parking lot, and why I wouldn't tell him the truth. I got out of the car and ran into the lobby of our store, and then into an old storage room that was off to the side of that room.
I took the items that I had found in the parking lot and put them in a baggie, then stuffed them into a box that was sitting along the wall. As I was getting ready to try to leave and get away, several people with guns came in and pulled me out. They said that I was being arrested for playing XBOX Live with a stolen XBOX. I tried to explain to them that that was impossible, because each XBOX has an account based on its serial number - but all of the cops were redneck hillbillies, and they didn't understand what I was talking about.
I stuck those items in my pocket and headed back towards the store. When I got near the doors, I noticed that there were several sheriff deputies standing around, and I overheard that they were looking for me. I was worried that they'd think I was trying to steal the radio and the jewelry, so I ducked inside of a car that was open. I thought I was hidden, but my boss (Charlie) opened the passenger side and got in to question me. He kept asking me where I had been, why I wasn't working, why I left the parking lot, and why I wouldn't tell him the truth. I got out of the car and ran into the lobby of our store, and then into an old storage room that was off to the side of that room.
I took the items that I had found in the parking lot and put them in a baggie, then stuffed them into a box that was sitting along the wall. As I was getting ready to try to leave and get away, several people with guns came in and pulled me out. They said that I was being arrested for playing XBOX Live with a stolen XBOX. I tried to explain to them that that was impossible, because each XBOX has an account based on its serial number - but all of the cops were redneck hillbillies, and they didn't understand what I was talking about.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Loose Lion
I was working in some random mall when a delivery arrived at the mall's entrance. The people delivering the packages apologized that they were late, but they wanted me to hurry and just sign for the package so they could be on their way.
I signed for a large box, and as soon as I was done with my signature, it opened up and a big lion came running out. The delivery guys (or anyone else, for that matter) weren't paying attention or even trying to stop this lion from getting out - and it ran through the doors and into the mall.
I ran into the mall, trying to catch this lion before it could hurt anyone. Surprisingly, nobody seemed concerned about this big lion walking around in the mall - so at least I didn't have to deal with people screaming and running around. I was able to get the lion into the nearby pet store, and once it was inside I began looking for the switches to drop the gate down in the front of the store. I couldn't find it myself, so I asked one of the cashiers behind the counter to do it - but she just stood there. To make her understand the need for speed in this matter, I picked up a baseball bat and smashed it on the counter in front of her - telling her that she needed to close the gate now.
This seemed to get her attention and she lowered the chain gate in front of the store, safely locking the lion away from the rest of the mall. Well, safely, except for all of the people that were shopping in the pet store at that time I guess.
I signed for a large box, and as soon as I was done with my signature, it opened up and a big lion came running out. The delivery guys (or anyone else, for that matter) weren't paying attention or even trying to stop this lion from getting out - and it ran through the doors and into the mall.
I ran into the mall, trying to catch this lion before it could hurt anyone. Surprisingly, nobody seemed concerned about this big lion walking around in the mall - so at least I didn't have to deal with people screaming and running around. I was able to get the lion into the nearby pet store, and once it was inside I began looking for the switches to drop the gate down in the front of the store. I couldn't find it myself, so I asked one of the cashiers behind the counter to do it - but she just stood there. To make her understand the need for speed in this matter, I picked up a baseball bat and smashed it on the counter in front of her - telling her that she needed to close the gate now.
This seemed to get her attention and she lowered the chain gate in front of the store, safely locking the lion away from the rest of the mall. Well, safely, except for all of the people that were shopping in the pet store at that time I guess.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Haunted Mansion
I was walking with some friends on a dark, cloudy day. We came upon an abandoned house (which is a pretty common theme in my dreams by now) and decided to explore. This house was once quite fancy, but it had begun to fall into disrepair from years of neglect. Somehow we actually entered the house through a big hole in the roof... I think we were able to get there from some large beams that stuck out from a nearby overpass bridge.
As we entered through the roof of this giant house, I found myself in a dark closet. I pretended that I was scared and that something had grabbed me, causing the people with me to freak out - until they realized I was joking. This lightened the mood for those that were scared, and one of the girls even decided that she would go into the dark house through this same method. However, her entry didn't go as planned. She jumped down into the closet, while I had just sort of hung down inside by my hands to look around, and she immediately crashed through the floor and down into the levels below. We were all scared for her, but were also scared to go down into the pitch black room that was below that closet.
Instead of falling into darkness like our friend, we climbed down and entered the house through a door that was left open. There was enough light in this bottom level that we could get around, and finally found this big, creepy closet that was alive with evil energy. We could hear our friend screaming from inside, and one of my other friends quickly ran over towards the closet and stepped inside. Within a second, a giant fog filled the closet and the room, a horrible noise came from within the house, and then an unseen force grabbed him and pulled him into the darkness. The speed at which he was snatched away would have killed him, if nothing else.
Once our friend was pulled into the closet, the house began to rumble and fog began filling all the rooms. We could tell that the house was filled with anger, and we knew that we needed to leave. We started running for the door that would lead us back out into the open, but the whole time we could feel this darkness chasing us - getting closer and closer. We made it out into the front courtyard of this mansion, but the evil wasn't done. The fountains out front, which were not working when we entered... suddenly they were shooting water into the sky... bursting and splashing in a frantic manner... we kept running...
We finally made it to the edge of the property, and when we crossed the fence - the fountains stopped, the rumbling ended, the fog vanished, and the clouds gave way to sunlight. We lost our two friends, but once we left the property of this haunted mansion - it decided to let the rest of us go.
As we entered through the roof of this giant house, I found myself in a dark closet. I pretended that I was scared and that something had grabbed me, causing the people with me to freak out - until they realized I was joking. This lightened the mood for those that were scared, and one of the girls even decided that she would go into the dark house through this same method. However, her entry didn't go as planned. She jumped down into the closet, while I had just sort of hung down inside by my hands to look around, and she immediately crashed through the floor and down into the levels below. We were all scared for her, but were also scared to go down into the pitch black room that was below that closet.
Instead of falling into darkness like our friend, we climbed down and entered the house through a door that was left open. There was enough light in this bottom level that we could get around, and finally found this big, creepy closet that was alive with evil energy. We could hear our friend screaming from inside, and one of my other friends quickly ran over towards the closet and stepped inside. Within a second, a giant fog filled the closet and the room, a horrible noise came from within the house, and then an unseen force grabbed him and pulled him into the darkness. The speed at which he was snatched away would have killed him, if nothing else.
Once our friend was pulled into the closet, the house began to rumble and fog began filling all the rooms. We could tell that the house was filled with anger, and we knew that we needed to leave. We started running for the door that would lead us back out into the open, but the whole time we could feel this darkness chasing us - getting closer and closer. We made it out into the front courtyard of this mansion, but the evil wasn't done. The fountains out front, which were not working when we entered... suddenly they were shooting water into the sky... bursting and splashing in a frantic manner... we kept running...
We finally made it to the edge of the property, and when we crossed the fence - the fountains stopped, the rumbling ended, the fog vanished, and the clouds gave way to sunlight. We lost our two friends, but once we left the property of this haunted mansion - it decided to let the rest of us go.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Killer Frogwolf
I was having a picnic with some friends at my Grandma's house. They had thrown a blanket down under a tree and were beginning to unpack the food when a frog started hopping towards us. They noticed right away that this frog had lots of sharp teeth and appeared to be charging at us. It jumped in the air and opened it's mouth and tried to bite on to my arm. I moved quickly enough that it missed me, but it turned around right away and tried again. I managed to keep swatting it away from me every time it jumped - knocking it down onto the ground each time. I think this just made it more angry, though... the attacks continued...
Because it was getting more and more mad, I decided to run into the garage to grab a baseball bat. I went back out to where the frog was, and gave it a whack with the bat. This just made the frog mad, and it began jumping wildly into the air. It jumped high enough to hit the power lines a few times, and then it started to attack again. It jumped at me again, but this time the baseball bat did the trick... I cracked the frog in mid-air and sent it flying out into the yard.
Some little kid came into the yard and ran up to the lifeless frog and was getting ready to pick it up. I warned him to be careful, but he told me that it was dead. As I watched the kid get ready to pick it up, I saw the frog blink... but before it could attack me or the kid, I started smashing it over and over with the baseball bat. It had some sort of protective shell on it, so I wasn't doing much damage - but it was still enough to keep it from attacking for now.
We ran back to the house after I had apparently killed it, but before we made it to the door - the frog was there again, although this time it had morphed into a small black werewolf type creature. Just like when it was a frog, it still had those razor teeth and was trying to attack us. Before I even had a chance to realize it was there - the wolf jumped at me and bit onto my arm. I was lucky enough to be able to grab it's lower jaw before it could clamp down on my arm though. I yelled to my cousin Casey to come over and help me pull this thing off of me, and since it didn't have a firm grip on my arm - he was able to pry the top of the thing's mouth off of my arm before it could do any real damage. A few more whacks with the baseball bat and the creature was finally killed.
Because it was getting more and more mad, I decided to run into the garage to grab a baseball bat. I went back out to where the frog was, and gave it a whack with the bat. This just made the frog mad, and it began jumping wildly into the air. It jumped high enough to hit the power lines a few times, and then it started to attack again. It jumped at me again, but this time the baseball bat did the trick... I cracked the frog in mid-air and sent it flying out into the yard.
Some little kid came into the yard and ran up to the lifeless frog and was getting ready to pick it up. I warned him to be careful, but he told me that it was dead. As I watched the kid get ready to pick it up, I saw the frog blink... but before it could attack me or the kid, I started smashing it over and over with the baseball bat. It had some sort of protective shell on it, so I wasn't doing much damage - but it was still enough to keep it from attacking for now.
We ran back to the house after I had apparently killed it, but before we made it to the door - the frog was there again, although this time it had morphed into a small black werewolf type creature. Just like when it was a frog, it still had those razor teeth and was trying to attack us. Before I even had a chance to realize it was there - the wolf jumped at me and bit onto my arm. I was lucky enough to be able to grab it's lower jaw before it could clamp down on my arm though. I yelled to my cousin Casey to come over and help me pull this thing off of me, and since it didn't have a firm grip on my arm - he was able to pry the top of the thing's mouth off of my arm before it could do any real damage. A few more whacks with the baseball bat and the creature was finally killed.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Flying On The Boardwalk
I was in Atlantic City, spending some time on the boardwalk in the evening. I was carrying a few boxes of cheap electronics novelties that I had apparently gotten at one of the gift shops earlier. Generic brand radios, alarm clocks, musical keyboards, etc... I tried to go into another shop near Caesar's but I was unable to make my way through the store - the aisles were too small for me and my boxes to fit through. I went back out onto the boardwalk, where lots of people were walking around and sightseeing. I went and sat in my large porch swing that was sitting on the boardwalk, and proceeded to try to get it off the ground - for whatever reason, my swing was able to almost fly. Just like my other dreams, I was able to get a running start and get the swing to float off the ground, but I wasn't able to get it to fly very well. People were looking at me, wondering what I was trying to do. Instead of being impressed that I was able to make this swing fly for thirty or fourty feet at a time, they were laughing that I couldn't manage to stay airborn more than a few seconds. Eventually I just stopped trying, since my shakey flights were almost making me hit people in the head with the bottom of my swing.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
School Break-In
Jessica and I were camping out in a cave somewhere, it was the middle of the night, and we decided we were going to break in to the local high school. There were guards outside, and in order for us to sneak out and get in to the school, we had to put out the campfire we had going, and light only some small torches that we were going to carry with us.
With the big fire out, we made our way out of the cave and towards the school. We met up with Jim and Amanda there, and as we entered the front door of the school - they decided they wanted to take the downstairs path, while Jessica and I decided to go to the upper floors. It turns out that that was our mistake - because soon after that, we noticed the down the hallway there was a light on. We heard a noise, but realized too late that there was a janitor in the building. He was pushing a floor buffer, and spotted us as we tried to dive behind some lockers. Once we knew we had been seen, we made a dash towards the stairs in an attempt to escape. The janitor ran after us, and caught us as we were headed down the stairs. I had jumped the edge and made it down to the floor below us - but Jessica was a little too slow, and he had grabbed her at the top of the stairs.
He yelled down to me that I wouldn't get in any trouble if I gave up, since it was my first offense - but that if he kept Jessica for the crime, that she'd go to jail for a long time since she had a previous record. For whatever reason, I decided to be a nice guy and gave myself up so that she didn't have to go to jail.
With the big fire out, we made our way out of the cave and towards the school. We met up with Jim and Amanda there, and as we entered the front door of the school - they decided they wanted to take the downstairs path, while Jessica and I decided to go to the upper floors. It turns out that that was our mistake - because soon after that, we noticed the down the hallway there was a light on. We heard a noise, but realized too late that there was a janitor in the building. He was pushing a floor buffer, and spotted us as we tried to dive behind some lockers. Once we knew we had been seen, we made a dash towards the stairs in an attempt to escape. The janitor ran after us, and caught us as we were headed down the stairs. I had jumped the edge and made it down to the floor below us - but Jessica was a little too slow, and he had grabbed her at the top of the stairs.
He yelled down to me that I wouldn't get in any trouble if I gave up, since it was my first offense - but that if he kept Jessica for the crime, that she'd go to jail for a long time since she had a previous record. For whatever reason, I decided to be a nice guy and gave myself up so that she didn't have to go to jail.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Monkey Baby
I was over at Misty's mom's house, to see Mary's new baby... apparently I was spending the night there, along with my cousin. I woke up in the middle of the night and went out to check on the baby, who was sleeping in a chair in their living room - and I discovered that the baby was actually a monkey! Not only was it a monkey, but it had long black curly hair. The odd thing was, nobody seemed to be concerned about this.
I picked him up and held him, and even though he's only a couple weeks old, he started standing up, doing tricks, jumping around, etc. I seemed to be the only one that was surprised that her baby was actually a monkey, so I didn't say anything to any of them. The monkey baby then jumped down out of my hands and stood up, combed its hair, then was picked up by one of the others. That person said "watch what he can do!" and then let the monkey baby hang upside-down from her arm, by his feet. I was worried that it was gonna fall and get hurt, but I guess since it was a monkey and not a baby, it was used to doing that sort of thing.
I picked him up and held him, and even though he's only a couple weeks old, he started standing up, doing tricks, jumping around, etc. I seemed to be the only one that was surprised that her baby was actually a monkey, so I didn't say anything to any of them. The monkey baby then jumped down out of my hands and stood up, combed its hair, then was picked up by one of the others. That person said "watch what he can do!" and then let the monkey baby hang upside-down from her arm, by his feet. I was worried that it was gonna fall and get hurt, but I guess since it was a monkey and not a baby, it was used to doing that sort of thing.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Rotten Neighbor Kids
It was the middle of the day, and I was working in the computer room. As I was sitting at my desk, I heard some strange tapping outside one of the windows. Through the blinds I could see some kids were messing around with the window, like they were trying to get in. I didn't let them know that I was in there, and could see what they were doing, and shortly after that they went around to the window that was in the back of the house.
As they were opening the window to try and come in, I quickly opened the blinds and made "oogah boogah" noises - scaring them all away. They made it to the end of the yard, where the smaller ones tripped and fell as they tried to jump over the chain link fence. Seeing them fall, I decided to jump out of the window and chase them down. Before they could get up and across the fence, I grabbed one of them by his hair and kept him from getting away. The other kids, who were apparently his brothers, stopped and gave up - since I already caught their slowers, stupid little brother - they knew they'd be in trouble as well anyway.
I made the kids tell me where they lived, and it was only a block or so away from my house. So, I dragged this kid back to his house by his hair, and met his mom and dad on their front porch. I tried to explain what happened, but the mom didn't seem to care - and the dad was some big redneck guy who was more concerned with the remodeling that was going on to the outside of his house, rather than what his rotten kids were up to. I threw the kid down on the porch and headed back home.
As they were opening the window to try and come in, I quickly opened the blinds and made "oogah boogah" noises - scaring them all away. They made it to the end of the yard, where the smaller ones tripped and fell as they tried to jump over the chain link fence. Seeing them fall, I decided to jump out of the window and chase them down. Before they could get up and across the fence, I grabbed one of them by his hair and kept him from getting away. The other kids, who were apparently his brothers, stopped and gave up - since I already caught their slowers, stupid little brother - they knew they'd be in trouble as well anyway.
I made the kids tell me where they lived, and it was only a block or so away from my house. So, I dragged this kid back to his house by his hair, and met his mom and dad on their front porch. I tried to explain what happened, but the mom didn't seem to care - and the dad was some big redneck guy who was more concerned with the remodeling that was going on to the outside of his house, rather than what his rotten kids were up to. I threw the kid down on the porch and headed back home.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Another Haunted House
I had been reading about this great haunted house on the internet. People wrote about how you couldn't even make it to the third floor of this big abandoned building, because if you tried - whatever ghosts and demons that were in the house would attack you and throw you back down to the bottom levels. Apparently my girlfriend and I decided that we weren't afraid, and that we wanted to spend the night in this house. We went in the evening, packing only a sleeping bag, nightlight, and small radio.
We went in the house and made it up to the second floor. We plugged in our radio, put down the sleeping bag and tried to lay there and go to sleep. The building was completely dark except for the nightlight that we plugged in at the end of our extension cord, and it was very cold. Within a few minutes, the radio suddenly stopped working - leaving the house silent, other than the gusty wind noises from outside and the creaks and rattles from upstairs on the third floor. My girlfriend started getting scared, so I grabbed extension cord and pulled the nightlight closer to us. The glow only allowed us to see about three or four feet around us, leaving the rest of the house in darkness.
We decided to get up and investigate the third floor, to figure out why the lights wouldn't come on and why our radio wouldn't work anymore. By now it was very late in the night, and as we came to the giant staircase that led to the third floor, we saw my dad coming down them. His eyes were open big, stuck in this creepy stair - as if he'd seen a ghost. (duh) We were getting ready to take a few steps up the stairs when he warned us that we shouldn't even be in the house, let alone trying to visit the third floor. We took a few steps up onto the stairs anyway, and the boards creeked and almost fell through - since they were rotton from exposure to the wind and rain through holes in the roof and the broken windows nearby. Before we could even make it half-way up the stairs, a wind came bursting out of the door at the top - knocking us on our backs at the bottom of the staircase. We immediately left the haunted house then... but even after we left, we felt like something had followed us... like the ghosts hadn't stayed in the house.
We went in the house and made it up to the second floor. We plugged in our radio, put down the sleeping bag and tried to lay there and go to sleep. The building was completely dark except for the nightlight that we plugged in at the end of our extension cord, and it was very cold. Within a few minutes, the radio suddenly stopped working - leaving the house silent, other than the gusty wind noises from outside and the creaks and rattles from upstairs on the third floor. My girlfriend started getting scared, so I grabbed extension cord and pulled the nightlight closer to us. The glow only allowed us to see about three or four feet around us, leaving the rest of the house in darkness.
We decided to get up and investigate the third floor, to figure out why the lights wouldn't come on and why our radio wouldn't work anymore. By now it was very late in the night, and as we came to the giant staircase that led to the third floor, we saw my dad coming down them. His eyes were open big, stuck in this creepy stair - as if he'd seen a ghost. (duh) We were getting ready to take a few steps up the stairs when he warned us that we shouldn't even be in the house, let alone trying to visit the third floor. We took a few steps up onto the stairs anyway, and the boards creeked and almost fell through - since they were rotton from exposure to the wind and rain through holes in the roof and the broken windows nearby. Before we could even make it half-way up the stairs, a wind came bursting out of the door at the top - knocking us on our backs at the bottom of the staircase. We immediately left the haunted house then... but even after we left, we felt like something had followed us... like the ghosts hadn't stayed in the house.
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